365 days

9 Pictures of the People I couldn't have made it through 2009 without!






































































9 Best and Worst of Everything in 2009


Best - Summer beach trips --> I love the beach more than words can say. Combine that with sunny summer days and some of my favorite people ever and there's nothing better!



Worst - My job --> I've struggled more this year than ever about being satisfied with my job. I should be thankful, and maybe even have this as a "best" since I do still have a job, but I'm praying hard for whatever it is God has next.


Best - Weddings --> Let's face it - I love just about anything that has to do with "love", including weddings. These days, I love weddings even more because it means catching up with lots of great college friends! And, with all the people getting married, I got to do A LOT of catching up this year!


Worst - Grandparents --> Another thing that could be a "best" because thankfully they are still with us. Sadly, this summer I was able to see and process for the first time just how much they really are struggling health wise. I feel blessed to have had them in my life for so long and selfishly, I wish that they could be around for so many more years.


Best - Hope Internship --> The first 6 months of the year I was able to not only gain ministry experience working with a middle school youth group, but I also gained an extended family, even if for only a short time. God couldn't have put them in my life at a more needed time and I'm so thankful for each one of them. Many of my favorite memories from this year include the people I met through working at Hope.



Worst - Back/Hip injury --> I'd say I'm way too young to be dealing with injuries that occur as a result of nothing I can remember doing and keep me in pretty consistent pain. Stupid getting older!


Best - Boone trip --> It's harder to camp than you think, I love the mountains and hiking more than I ever thought I would, and best friends and a good attitude makes even the most awful situations funny.


Worst - Noah --> Now if you know anything about my dog, you could assume the "Worst" and "Noah" on the same line could merely be attributed to his less than acceptable behavior. While there was a lot of that this year, I loved that dog more than most humans probably would've and saying goodbye to him so early definitely makes for one of the hardest things I've done this year.



Best - Accountability group --> This group of girls challenged and encouraged me so much in my personal life and my walk with Christ. God totally used them to foster growth and change in me this past year and I wouldn't be the same person I am today without their love and friendship.

*In Memory of Noah*

January 9th, 2007 I brought home a 10-pound bundle of fun named Noah. A Boxer and my first dog as an adult, I was hopeful and certain that he would be with me for many years to come. There is no pretending that he was the best-mannered dog in the world, but his extremely goofy, outgoing personality and love for every person he met seemed to make up for his frequent misbehaving. Only one month after his 3rd birthday, I noticed some things out of the ordinary for Noah and decided to schedule an appointment with the Vet. I arrived at the Vet on a Wednesday afternoon, fully expecting to leave an hour later with medicine for something simple, but instead left preparing myself to possibly have just a short time left with my dog. Over the next couple of days, his health rapidly deteriorated and the Vets confident diagnosis was that he had a brain tumor. Sadly, I had to say goodbye to my sweet pup the morning of December 12th, 2009. Emotionally, the situation has been incredibly hard, but I am glad to know that he is no longer sick and suffering. I am thankful for the short time we had together and I will miss him terribly.

*Update on Noah*

It's highly likely that if you've even only had a handful of conversations with me or read my blog on just a few occasions that you've heard about my dog, Noah. He pees in the house when we've just come in from outside, he's ruined furniture and broken windows, and I'd guess that I've lost a couple hundred dollars in underwear thanks to him mistaking them for special snacks. He's not the worlds worst dog, but I'd say when the vets office has said he's one of their most obnoxious clients, that he's ranking pretty far up there! Still though, that dog loves life, like really loves life, and boy do I love him. He makes me crazy, but it seems I just can't get enough of him!

This past week he's been crying out like he's in pain on multiple occasions and I haven't been able to figure out what is wrong. Additionally, a few days ago, he started to seem a little off balance when walking and such. So, after a week of this, I decided yesterday to take him to the vet. I assume the visit wouldn't take that long and since some of the issues seemed to correlate with his need to relieve himself, I assumed he was just dealing with some sort of small infection that we could clear right up. But, what I heard was way different.

Over the course of our 2 1/2 hour appointment, not only was the vet we had come to see checking out Noah, but also 2 other vets, all trying to see what was going on. After checking his blood pressure and ears to try and pinpoint his balance issue, they still didn't have an answer. The vet said that usually the next step they would suggest would be to see a neurologist because it seemed like his issues are brain related. On top of that, she said she had to add that Boxers, more often than other dogs, have issues of higher rates of canter and brain tumors! But, just to cover all their bases, she offered to run a few more tests there. While none of them showed anything worth looking into, she prescribed him some medicine for things that she wouldn't be able to find via testing just to see if maybe he'll respond to those. However, over the next few weeks, if he's not responding, she said that we could pretty much assume the worst.

I know I'm a tool for doing it, but of course the minute I got home last night, I looked up symptoms of brain tumors in dogs. I found a ton of information on the NCSU Vet School website, who go figure, has been researching brain tumors in Boxers because the rate of this breed having brain tumors at a much younger age is "concerning". It was pretty scary reading the website because a great majority of the symptoms I found for brain tumors in dogs, including crying out as if in pain, are all things that I've noticed in Noah lately. Looking back, not that I could have changed anything, but there are things I've noticed in him for weeks, or even months, that didn't seem at all out of the ordinary, but after reading the website, now stick out vividly in my mind.

Of course, myself, and more than just a few others are praying that it turns out to be nothing but a great big scare! At the same time, conditions don't look favorable and I'm also kind of expecting the worst. Don't get me wrong, it's not me being negative at all. In reality, knowing that a lot of the symptoms he has point to a possible brain tumor and knowing the vet mentioned this as an equally likely cause, make it hard for me to think it could be much else. If it turns out be nothing big, then I'll have a million reasons to be ecstatic!!! But, if it does turn out to be a brain tumor, or something of the sorts, then at least I've been able to try and make the last weeks of my once wild-little pups life the best ever AND I've had time to prepare myself as much as I emotionally can for what is coming.

All in all, he is just a dog, and from an eternal perspective, I know that he doesn't have a soul. So, while that doesn't make me feel any better on the emotional side of things, it does help offer me some peace in the midst of this scary time, even when I don't have any understanding.

He's a 70 pound lapdog with tons of attitude and thinks he can do whatever he wants..but honestly right now, I just don't know what is going to happen.

So, if you would, pray for a miracle! Pray that it's nothing at all and that the emotional wreck I've been for 24 hours straight will have all been in vain. But, also pray, that if it is confirmed as the worst, that though my heart will be really broken, I'd be happy with the memories I've had with Noah and be filled with peace about the whole situation.

He's just a dog, I know, but reasonable as it might seem to some and silly as it might seem to others - he's my little family...and I do not want to lose that.

I'm thankful for....

*Jesus and the gift of eternal life*amazing friends and tons of pictures*rainy days and romantic movies*sparkly ornaments and mistletoe*fantastic parents and wonderful grandparents*text messaging and good convos*mexican food and cheesecake*twin sisters and adorable nephews*late nights and sleeping in*stressful days made better with living room dance parties*full-time jobs and wolfpack wins*cute boots and misbehaving dogs*krispy kreme donuts and iced white mochas*sarcasm and laughing until you cry*fun games and good company*daydreaming and everything the future holds....*

"i've heard that it's possible to grow up - i've just never met anyone who's actually done it. without parents to defy, we break the rules we make for ourselves. we throw tantrums when things don't go our way, we whisper secrets with our best friends in the dark, we look for comfort where we can find it, and we hope - against all logic, against all experience. like children, we never give up hope..." - greys anatomy

"the fear of making permanent committments can change the mutual love of husband and wife into two loves of self; two loves exisiting side by side, until they end in separation." - pope john oaul II

"love is a feeling, marriage is a contract, and relationships take work." - lori gordon

"humor helps us think out of the box. the average child laughs about 400 times per day. the average adult laughs only 15 times per day. what happened to the other 385 laughs?" - unknown

"you want fairy-tale love - you're a romantic. but what's really romantic is to wake up every morning and say 'i choose you, again. today. no matter what.'" - dirty sexy money

"the solution to adult problems tomorrow depends on large measure upon how our children grow up today" - margaret mead

"if you were going to die soon and had only one phone call you could make, who would you call and what would you say? and why are you waiting?" - stephen levine

"lust is easy. love is hard. like is most important" - carl reiner

maybe close to the shortest post yet... :)

This Thanksgiving, I'm super thankful that I get to sleep in multiple days in a row! Facebook makes everything official and I miss the days when you couldn't make comments on someones wall post or status. No tears would be shed if I never again received a forwarded email. I believe sometimes different can turn out to be really good. Laura, Shelley and I started the Beth Moore, Believing God bible study a little over a week ago - GOOD STUFF! First home Storm game was last night AND Chris Hughes is home all week! I've seriously got to stop being so lazy. I like the way I can't keep my focus. Jokes about ugliness, even if not totally appropriate, are still very funny, especially when telling them with the right people.

*UPDATE*
Just discovered this, thanks to reading another friends blog and loved it so I had to add it here!

"twitterpated: an enjoyable disorder characterized by feelings of excitement, anticipation, high hopes, recent memories of interludes, giddiness and physical overstimulation which occur simultaneously when experiencing a new love. these feelings take over without warning, usually at odd times (such as at a check-out line), with or without the partner present, and make it difficult to concentrate on anything but romance. they interfere with work and safe driving, but should be experienced at least once in every person's lifetime."

In honor of my birthday! :)

My 26th birthday was at the beginning of this month, so to go with that, I figured 26 ideas, fun facts, thoughts, things going on or whatever randomness I come up with would be an appropriate post! It might also help me make up a little for being so slack in October! So here goes.



#1) I put up my Christmas tree already! :) I know it's early but with good reason! Plus this will be the first time in a couple of years I've not been moving over the Christmas holiday and actually had a tree to put up!

#2) Flashforward is one of my favorite new shows. I think it gets better every week!

#3) Kindergarten basketball is quite possibly one of the cutest and funniest things I have ever watched!

#4) No one ever seems to follow the speed limit in the school zone - and they seem to get irritated with those of us who do! At least it won't be me with the speeding ticket!

#5) I'm interested in looking for a new home church so I'm currently taking suggestions on places I should visit. I want a church that is smaller in size - mega-churches just aren't for me!

#6) I love when the leaves change color.

#7) Plain cheesecake and funfetti cupcakes are my favorite desserts - I got both for my birthday!

#8) NCSU actually won our football game this weekend! FINALLY! Go Pack! :)

#9) I went to the fair 4 times - not as many as usual, but I still had a BLAST!

#10) I left my camera downtown Raleigh, sitting outside of Krispy Kreme one night last month - 4 hours later, at 3am, when I drove back down there to pick it up, it was still sitting outside! AMAZING! :)

#11) Upward games are more than half over - time sure does fly!

#12) Chris Hughes lied and said he couldn't come home for my birthday BUT then surprised me, and everyone else, by showing up at my birthday party! Such a fun surprise!

#13) The Proposal is a fantastic movie!

#14) Old navy has outerwear on sale for up to 50% off...so tempting to buy another jacket.

#15) Noah just turned 3! Somehow he has significantly digressed in his pottying training skills and my hallway now smells similar to an outhouse! :(

#16) Taylor Swift is coming to Raleigh!

#17) Sunday afternoons were meant for napping O:)

#18) I wish my papap and grandma lived closer - I miss them.

#19) Wal-mart, regardless of where it is located, is guaranteed to provide you with the opportunity for endless hours of people watching. If you can't get to one right away, but need a quick fix - check out peopleofwalmart.com.

#20) I hate Kenny Chesney's new song.

#21) Driving with the windows down can almost always improve my mood!

#22) "Ain't it funny how a melody can bring back a memory" is SUCH a true statement!

#23) A girl my sister and I were friends with came to know Christ at our house when we were probably in middle school. She's now an adult and apparently has been struggling some with a lot of different things. She remembered how my mom had loved on and helped her come to know Christ so many years ago and randomly showed up a week ago to talk to my mom about what was going on in her life and chose to rededicate her life that day. How cool for my mom to see the way God had used her in the past and that this girl still remembered my moms love for Jesus and her!

#24) I wish I had more time (and finances) to travel.

#25) My family is doing Secret Santa presents for the first time ever this Christmas.

#26) HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE GROUND! :)


Until next time...which I promise will be sooner than next month! Or at least I hope it will be... :P

Where'd October go?!

Not a single post in October - ULTIMATE FAIL! I'm going to try and do better this month. :) But, instead of trying to tell you about the WHOLE month of October, I'll just post some fun pics and we can call it even, right? RIGHT!

Ten Thoughts This Tuesday :)

You like that special title with all the T's huh?! :P

#1) This past weekend was Meg's wedding - and it was beautiful! Completely reinforced my desire to someday have an outdoor wedding at night with a lot of lights. Sadly, it rained, so that changed a few of the plans for pictures and such, but overall it was a good time! I definitely had a lot of fun and I'm so happy for the Peterson's!

#2) Just watched the Dog Whisperer for the 1st time ever! I know, a little shocking right, considering I have a dog who has had just about every behavioral issue known to man! I must say, Cesar is pretty amazing! It's possible I might have a Dog Whisperer marathon in the near future, sponsored by Hulu! :P

#3) Speaking of my dog - Noah has decided that it is now more appropriate to pee inside than it is outside. This is NOT okay with me. The thing about it is, he has the opportunity to go outside, and he knows to go outside, he just chooses not to. Also funny, he won't do it when I'm not at home, further proving that he is, indeed, house trained. I'm not sure what I did to upset him, but he's taking it out on my carpets (and a couple of times my car!!!), and I'm very tired of cleaning it up. He's lucky I'm such a dog person!

#4) I'm a big fan of glasses. A lot of people know this, but it is reinforced for me daily, I think. Obviously, this is within reason - I'm not talking 3D glasses or someone sporting huge glasses like what I wore in 3rd grade. This is obviously not appropriate! But, for most girls and guys alike - I think glasses can really make someone more attractive. Of course, no one wants to wear their glasses all the time, myself included, and this is understandable, but I am definitely all for them being worn at least occasionally! :)

#5) CSI: Miami has added Eddie Cibrian to their cast and this is very exciting. He's pretty fantastic looking. What will not be exciting is if he somehow replaces the Callie/Eric thing that is going on right now.

#6) Since I no longer have DVR, I now find myself watching a lot of tv online. A lot of the shows I like are crime/suspense related shows and so there are often moments of "Oh my - what happens next?!" Sort of like the way you see people watch scary movies through the cracks of their fingers, I instead, tend to press pause A LOT. It's like I need a break to prepare myself for what comes next. I also do this when there is some really awkward situation or conversation going on. Ha - I'm not sure what I think pausing is going to do for me, but somehow it seems to calm me a little. Kind of weird - I know.

#7) NC State fair is SOOOOOO SOOON! :) :) :) There really is no possible way to convey how excited I am about this!

#8) I have a problem with temperature control - in my house, the car, and the office. Whether it's fans at home, the heater in my office, or the ac/heat in the car, I just can't seem to find a happy medium...or I don't understand what that is. If I get to hot or cold, I have to turn things all the way up, or all the way off - there is no in between. This results in the fact that I am never comfortable temperature wise. I'm obviously aware of the issue, now if I could just make changes. Ha

#9) I want a new camera - like a really good camera. But, I also want to learn how to take better pictures, otherwise, there really is no point to a new camera.

#10) I haven't listened to any music at all today (not counting being in the car). That's really weird for me.


Happy Tuesday! :)

Failing already!

Only a couple of months of blogging and I'm already failing! Okay, well comparatively, maybe not, since every other month I've had 4 posts and so this meets my quota for September! We'll see if I become a real over-achiever and decide to add a super special post #5 this month! :P


Recent happenings

#1) I spent a Saturday at the zoo recently and was so happy to get to see the polar bear playing! He's my favorite animal at the zoo I think, even though up to this point I've only ever seen him snoozing! Thankfully, we got there just in time to see him playing with his toys! Wow was he cute - looked like a HUGE cuddly teddy bear; of course, I'm sure that's not how he would have acted had I decided to see if he wanted to play! Still though, seeing him made the whole trip worth it! :)

#2) Upward is now in full swing! I can't believe we're already into week 3 of practices! Oddly enough, I'm helping with 2 basketball teams and only 1 cheerleading team! Considering I know less than nothing about basketball, it's a little interesting, but I know it'll be super fun to watch the kids play! And, in a positive note, I now know what "setting a pick" is and the purpose of it - so I'm definitely learning! I'll be a pro in no time!...or not. ha :P

#3) Soon I'll be picking up hours again at the spa. That means even more hours working every other week, but I do love the spa and I've got to do something to make a little extra money! I'm glad I was able to go back!

#4) Megan's wedding is THIS WEEKEND! I'm super excited for her big day, so I can only imagine how happy she must be to finally have it here! I'm certain she will be one of the most beautiful brides ever! We had her bridesmaid luncheon this weekend, then all of the bridesmaids (minus Lori :( ) and Meg went to downtown Wilmington for a little spa fun and then dinner and dessert at the Little Dipper. That place was ridiculously good!

She also let us in on a little surprise we'll be ....participating in... at her wedding. Should make for some good pictures...and laughs. Hopefully we'll be laughing with the others - not just getting laughed at! :P

Completely Humbled

Lately, I've been stressing a little about what to do with certain situations in my life, specifically concerning housing and work. It's not unusual for me to stress over these things, but in less than a month I was going to have to make some pretty big decisions and I've been at wits end about what to do. Last week, God totally reminded me of how big He is and how much He wants to take care of me and IS going to take care of me, but how much He wants me to ask Him for these things.

Off the top of my head, I can think of multiple times when I've been challenged, whether by a close friend or a teacher or speaker of some sort, to pray specifically and expecting God to answer my prayer requests. And each time I've done that, I've seen God answer my prayers so quickly and so directly that I've literally been amazed, just like this time.



Our God is so big and He wants to give us so many things and take care of us. I know that, and I've seen Him do that in my life so many times, but, it's so funny, because so often, I don't pray to Him for these things. Sure, I might mention it to Him in passing, but often, it's as if I possess this attitude of "Well He already knows I need this, so why should I ask?". But the thing is, He wants me to ask, He wants us to ask.



So if He already knows, why would He want me to ask? I'm definitely not the best scholar or interpreter of God's Word, and I sure wish I possessed a lot more knowledge on so many things, but when it comes to this, I can tell you why, at least in my life, it is that He wants me to ask. Those times when I've prayed expecting God to answer my prayer requests, He's done it in such a way that there is NO WAY I can deny that these things came from Him. Talk about giving God the glory, it'd be hard to not give Him the glory in all of those instances because they are things that would never happen "just by coincidence." I think God wants me to ask so that when He answers in that big, awesome way, like I know He will, that I can't do anything other than turn around and give all the credit directly to Him. I can't do anything on my own, and that's why I have to ask God to help me, to provide and lead and direct me, and when I'm finally willing to do that, He amazes me every time.

"Brown Chicken, Brown Cow!"

Boone
I spent this last 3 day weekend in Boone with Daryl, Kelly, and Chris. To say the least, it was an adventure, full of surprises, but, I know I had a blast! We were supposed to camp 2 of the 3 nights, but that failed miserably, both times! Ha We did get to take lots of fun pics, play at waterfalls, climb ridiculous trails and rocks, creep on Chris' neighbors and watch the Hannah Montana movie, just to name a few things! ;) And, very surprising to myself, I learned that I really really like hiking - like a lot. It's challenging, and I'm sure what we did wasn't even that hard compared to what most hardcore hikers do..but it was def. super cool and something I wish I'd known I liked more because I would have maybe been doing it way more often for a while now! Who knew?! Either way - above you can see just a few of the hundreds of pics we took this weekend! I def. can't wait for the next fun adventure!

Birthday shout outs
My mom - I'd say she comes first because she's definitely most important. I won't tell you how old she is (because I'm sure she doesn't want it posted online :P) but I will say she's not even 50 yet so she's still super young! Happy Birthday, MOMMY! :) I <3>

Carter - My youngest nephew turned 3 this week! I can't believe how fast they grow up! Goodness - I don't even want to imagine how quickly time will pass when it's my own kids!

Daryl - The BIG 1-8! Can't wait for lots of fun on your "birthday weekend"! :)

Andrew - Hard to believe the first birthday I knew you well enough to say "happy birthday" was probably around the time you started driving. And now you're all grown up. *tear* JK, friend! :)



Fun Facts
Upward started this week. I'm thankful to be able to help out a lot with it this season, like last season. I'm also thankful that it does take up a few less hours in the evenings and on Saturdays! :P

I'm going to the ZOO this weekend! :)


That's all for now!

*Fun Facts for the day*

#1) The weather has been perfect and I've slept with my windows open the past two nights! <3>

#2) GO WOLFPACK! Football begins tonight and I really love Wolfpack football. These are definitely the days I miss being a student.

#3) My new cell phone came in on Monday and it is wonderful! My most favorite feature is that it keeps a separate thread of text messages with each individual person I text! No more searching back and forth from my inbox and sent messages to try and understand a conversation! This is followed very closely by the fact that the camera has a flash!

#4) Yesterday, I sat in a meeting at the chiropractor's office with 3 other clients. All of them, 50+ year old men, to be exact. I felt a little out of place and took it as a sign that I'm way too young to be having such ridiculous back problems! On another note, the x-rays of my back confirm that my spine is actually leaning heavily to the left! :O As for treatment, my dad and a couple of others have advised me to seek a 2nd opinion.

#5) TOMORROW I'M GOING TO BOONE FOR THE WEEKEND! Sadly, the back injury will most likely prohibit me from jumping off waterfalls. :( But, I'm counting on a lot less drama than last weekend occurring!

Help! I've fallen and "I can't get up!"

This past weekend I spent at Emerald Isle with Laura and her family. The plan was to go down Friday evening after work and return sometime Sunday evening before work on Monday. The weekend was a blast, but a lot of things definitely turned out differently than I expected!

We'll start with Noah, my sweet little pup! :P I dropped him off around 630pm at the Vet's office where my sister works because he was going to be staying at her house for the weekend - which he has done before. Shortly after I reach 40/42, maybe 20 minutes later, my sister calls to let me know that Noah is so nervous and anxious for some reason that he is refusing to get into her car and he tried to bite someone who was helping her! :O Once he was in the car the car, Ali and I hung up, and I figured all the trouble was over and his anxiety would wear off once he got to her house. Oh boy, was I wrong!

Ten minutes later I got a call from my frantic, sobbing sister who was running down the road chasing after my dog. Apparently, Noah decided it'd be a better idea to run down a road full of cars and into the woods, as opposed to walking inside my sister's comfortable house! Next thing I know, Ali says "I'm gonna put you on speaker so you can talk to him!" I'm certain something like, "Hold up - what? You want me to talk to my dog on the phone?!" is what was going through my head at that point. But, having no other option, I begin to repeat "Noah, wait!" or "It's okay...Noah, sit!" into the phone. Thankfully, Laura loves me, because at this point, anyone who didn't, would have probably uninvited me on their family beach trip! Surprisingly, my sister says that Noah has stopped to look around for me and she was finally able to catch up with him! Who knew that my dog who rarely listens to me when I am around, would suddenly listen to me when I'm not even visible! Maybe I should talk to him on the phone more? Ha

Disaster #1 - avoided!

Even though it was vacation, we were still out of bed by 830am on Saturday morning. The house we stayed at was right on the sound and the view out the back window was unbelievably amazing. Sitting in the sun room, you could see the personal pool and then views of still water, grass, trees and and even an island. Almost every meal I ate was in that room so that I could fully enjoy the beauty of that view!

We hit the beach about 10am the first morning and the sun was shining and the waves were rolling. Well, the waves were more like non-stop thrashing in the ocean and made it literally impossible for us to get into the water above our ankles, but still, it was beautiful out! We laid out on the beach for a while and would stand at the waters edge when we got hot and let the wild waves splash us until we were cooled off. We went home for lunch, came back to the beach for more of the same, and then about 530 decided to spend a little time at the pool behind the house before supper. We swam, took underwater and super fun jumping pics into the pool , and tried to take some cool "artsy" looking ones on the dock, as the sun went down.

After supper and a short time longer at the pool, we opted for showers before a visit to the Dairy Queen in Atlantic beach to meet up with Shelley and David. I took a quick shower and hopped out to start getting ready only to find that my lower back was suddenly in pain - A LOT of pain. Really odd because I didn't remember doing anything to hurt myself! We finished getting ready, with me limping around, headed off to have ice cream and take a quick walk on the pier, and then came back to the house for some Catch Phrase with Laura's family!

I decided not to play Catch Phrase and instead went for laying on the floor with some ice on my back to hopefully help the pain. Laura's mom made a joke "I hope you can get get up from there" to which I responded "Ha - I guess we'll see!" I mean, I just had a little..okay, a lot, of back pain; but really, of course I was going to be able to get up! Twenty minutes later, I tried to sit up straight and realized that I was in too much pain to do that. Well, what about if I pulled my knees up to my chest and tried to sit up that way? I soon realized that not only could I not do that, I also could not roll myself over onto one side or the other and try to sit up that way. I was literally stuck on the floor. "I can't get up!" It wasn't funny at that moment, in fact it was pretty painful and scary thinking about the fact that I was actually stuck flat on my back on the floor with no way of getting up...but now it's definitely a very amusing thought!

Thank you, Jesus, for Laura's quick thinking mom, who got pillows from her room and rolled me onto my side in stages, while placing pillows behind my back each time to hold me up. Once on my side, I managed to sit upright, and then Laura's dad puts his hands under my shoulders and lifted me to a standing position. WOW - that hurt! But, at least I was no longer stuck on the floor!

I spent the next day limping around and literally hunched over upon the first few minutes of standing. I also noticed, Sunday evening, that when I was standing up, my body oddly looked as if I was leaning heavily to my left - only I wasn't...I was flat-footed and standing up straight. It was pretty obvious that my hip or back or something was not in the right place relative to the rest of my body! I had to call my boss and let him know I wouldn't be in the office on Monday because I couldn't stand up straight and I certainly couldn't sit in the car for 2 1/2 hours to drive home! Who doesn't wish for an extra day of vacation, right? But I have to say, next time I'd rather it happen a little differently!

Disaster #2 - NOT avoided!

On to the next mishap from my vacation. As if anything else could go wrong, right? WRONG! Rewind to Saturday night while we are at Dairy Queen. My sister calls to let me know that she has consistently had to fight Noah into the garage and his crate every time she has taken him out because he is so nervous for some reason! So she wanted to know if she could take him to my apartment and just come to let him out during the day there so that maybe he'll feel more comfortable at home. Of course I tell her this is fine, but first we faced the obstacle of getting him back into the car! Round 2 of talking to my dog on the phone! "It's okay, Noah - I'll be back" and "Wanna go for a ride?" are what I continuously repeated while my ice cream slowly melted. AN HOUR LATER - my sister calls back to tell me he is finally in the car.

Fast forward a little to the part where I was stuck on the floor in pain. My sister called to inform me that she had let Noah out and he was a happy boy, but now she couldn't get the door to the apartment locked back. Somehow, the lock was broken and she needed the emergency number. To make this super long story....only slightly less long - the "emergency" crew at the apartment showed up at 730am THE NEXT MORNING - so my sister was forced to stay there all night to wait for them! Good thing not being able to lock your door isn't considered an emergency?!

Disaster #3 - NOT avoided!

To add the icing to the cake. Monday morning, my mom drove to Raleigh to let out Noah since I was still at the beach. While she was there, I received a call from my apartment complex that there was apparently a leak from my water heater that was running into the apartment below! You've got to be kidding, right?! My mom ended up being stuck at my apartment the entire day waiting for the new water heater to be installed!

Disaster #4 - NOT avoided!

Thankfully, this was the end of the craziness! As if I could have handled anymore?!

This weekend is my trip to Boone and I can only hope that things turn out a little better. If not, at least it'll make for another good story, huh? :P

From the mountains...to the oceans..

Okay..so maybe reverse that..beach first and then the mountains!

Trips

I'm starting to get SUPER excited because the next two weekends are full of fun little trips and I love any excuse to get out of Raleigh! :)

This weekend I'm going to the beach with Laura, Friday evening through Sunday, and I can't wait! It's quite possibly my last chance to see the ocean this summer so I'm happy about getting to be there for the whole entire weekend! I'm certain, rain or shine, we will have tons of fun!

Next weekend, me and my fantastic K Cubed friends have a little trip planned to Boone. All the details are slowly but surely coming together, but I do know for sure that it will involve hiking, camping, and jumping off of waterfalls with 4 of my favorite people - how could I not be excited! Expect LOTS of pictures! :)

Things I'm learning

God has used this past year, to bring out so many things in my life that I really need to work on. One of them that He has brought to the forefront right now is my bitterness and bad attitude towards certain situations or people in my life.

I'm so selfish and self-centered sometimes...scratch that..A LOT of times, that I fail to show grace and mercy to people when they need it most. I get so irritated and frustrated whenever I feel like I've been mistreated or wronged by someone. Funny thing is, I can guarantee I have a horrible attitude towards those same people plenty of times so all the more reason, I should be loving on and forgiving them. And, I don't know about for you, but for me - it seems the better I know someone or the closer we are, the easier it is to hold on to things or treat those people unfairly. Wow - I've still got so much growing to do!

Fun Facts

Tomorrow is my official "New Every Two" date with Verizon! WHOO HOO! My little phone is just about as broke as it can be while still being able to work, so I can't wait to get a new phone! Surprising, since I don't even like to talk on the phone in the first place - ha.

Last night I got a paper cut...only it was on a cardboard box I think, so maybe it should be called a cardboard cut? Either way - I'm pretty sure the cut is deeper than some slices from kitchen knives that I've had. Who knew cardboard could be so dangerous?!

Shout Outs

#1) David Levin - Here's to you David! You get the first because you had shout outs on your page to begin with....I just stole your idea! :P

#2) Tonia Jackson -Kudos to you for finding that "super important" information on the internet for me yesterday! It took you no time at all! ;) And I thought I was good at searching things on the online!

#3) Shelley Levin - You're my very best friend and that right there is enough to earn you a shout out! BUT, you also brought me a HUGE cheerwine last night, which makes you even more deserving than you already were! I love you!

Summer fading to fall

Hard to believe that we are already more than half-way through August and summer will be over soon! This summer has been full of fantastic memories and I'll be sad to see it go; but, I'm also super excited about all that fall brings! Here are some favorite memories of summer and what I'm looking forward to most about fall. :)

Sweet summer favorites:

#1) NLC. I love love love getting to visit campfires and skit nights, and this year, pretty much every other thing that happened in the evenings out there. Working Kindercamp - also a BIG plus!

#2) BEACH. The ocean is my favorite place to be, and while I would visit there all year around, it's a lot harder to find friends to go with when it's cold so I usually only see it during the hot summer months.

#3) RASCAL FLATTS. It's possible you could confuse me for a giddy school girl when these guys come to town. You either love them or you hate them, and I'm on the far extreme side of loving them. They are the only concert I feel the need to attend every year and it always proves to be so worth it!

#4) TRIPLE K. (name changed to protect the innocent) Late night trips to Krispy Kreme when the hot light is on. Throw in some really good friends and is any more explanation really needed?

#5) PENNSYLVANIA. While my grandparents aren't doing great, it has been fantastic to see them and other family in Pennsylvania on more than one occasion this summer.

#6) WEDDINGS. I've always loved weddings, I'm just odd I think. But, I love them even more now because it means I get to see tons of good friends from college! :)

#7) ICED WHITE MOCHAS. Yummy, ice cold, coffee goodness! I'll continue to drink them all year long, but those 100 degree days make them even more enjoyable.

#8)BIG BROTHER. My mouth pretty much hangs open in shock every time I watch this show. I LOVE it; as much, and somedays, possibly more than I do the Bachelor/Bachelorette - and that is a big deal. :)

Fast forward to fall:

#1) STATE FAIR. The people, the food, the rides, all of it! I even get the email each year saying when advance tickets go on sale. Who wants to come with me one of the almost 5 or 6 guaranteed times that I'll go?! :P

#2) HOODIES. I pretty much love anything that has a hood, but especially sweatshirt hoodies. Fall is a fantastic time for sporting these comfortable things and I can not wait.

#3) FOOTBALL. Don't know when it happened, but at some point I decided that I just really love football. Most specifically, the Wolfpack - even when they are not so hot (I'm not a fair-weather fan!), followed closely by the Steelers. Now, this doesn't mean that I have to religiously watch every single game or that I understand all the rules, but I def. enjoy what I get to see on TV or am lucky enough to attend in person - A LOT.

#4) BIRTHDAY. What's not to love about having a birthday? :)

#5) NLC. Isn't it great that so much stuff goes on at camp it can be on my summer AND fall lists? :) Upward, Blast, and High School Hangout all start up soon!

#6) TV. I never used to watch much TV probably because I just didn't have time. Now for the most part I still don't have time, but I have discovered the beauty of watching shows online. New episodes of NCIS, Castle, The Mentalist, and CSI: Miami are what I'm really excited about!

#7) THANKSGIVING. Family and lots of good food!

God is so good

How many times have I spent planning out what is best for my life and making decisions completely without consulting what God wants or has for me? If I'm being honest, I'm pretty certain that this happens way more often than not. I know that God created everything and knows everything and wants nothing but the best for me, but it's as if my small human mind can't seem to comprehend that somehow I should also listen to Him when I know He's leading me - even if the decision He wants me to make doesn't seem like the easy or fun one. God has totally used this past year to remind me how much he does want the best and how faithful He is to provide, if nothing more, just a peace about exactly where He has me, when I am willing to obey Him.

Nearly a year ago, I was at the end of my longest and most complicated relationship and I had no idea what was coming next. Ending this relationship was something that I believe both of us knew was the right decision, but neither was willing to take the first step or to give up the comfort and security it offered, or sacrifice the friendship we knew we'd lose. But, finally, each of us made a move that lead to the end of what I know for me, was one of the biggest learning experiences of my life thus far. It was hard, really hard....but looking back, it's funny to see how God provided both of us, in very different ways, with a peace beyond understanding and huge blessings and far better things, than I know we would have ever gotten if we continued to follow the things we thought were best for our lives.

For me, those blessings came in the form of Godly, encouraging frienships. The end of this relationship meant losing my best friend for the past five years, and if you'd asked me what the next year looked like - I probably would have said I thought it'd be full of lots of quality alone time. How humbled and amazed am I at God's faithfulness when I reflect on this past year and realize that it has been anything but that!

I've spent the past year reconnecting with old friends and building relationships with new ones. God has given me one of the best girl friends I've ever had and someone I know I will be close with for the rest of my life. We've shared a ridiculous amount of laughs and tears this past year and I know there are so many more to come. Without hesitation, I can say that it is no coincidence that God put her in my life at this time because He knew how much I would need her.


For half of the year, He provided me the opportunity to serve in ministry with a team of people that literally became like family in not much more than one months time. From that group, I've been blessed with an amazing accountability group of girls that love me exactly as I am, but too much to let me stay that way! They encourage me and challenge me and I am so thankful for God putting them in my lives when He knew I would need them the most.


I've spent more time with my family, built and renewed friendships or grown closer with numerous individuals from camp, and gotten to spend time with lots of great friends from college! There hasn't been a minute I've had time to feel lonely!


To top it all off, the peace that God has provided, even in the hardest moments, has literally left me in shock at times. It's as if I can't even imagine how I could be as happy or as joyful as I've been, after losing such a big part of my life. I've literally experienced the peace that surpasses all understanding that the Bible talks about! Seriously, how cool is that?!

I'd like to say that after all of God's amazing provisions this year that I'll never again try to do things on my own, or follow after what I think is right for my life. Unfortunately, being the sinful person I am, I don't think I'll always be successful at that. Thankfully, however, I know I'll be able to look around at the amazing friends He's blessed me with and see and be reminded of just how faithful He is when I'm willing to surrender it all to Him.

my week of vacation

I spent last week working at NLC as a Kindercamp counselor for the Lightning Bugs!!! It was def. nice to have a week off from my full-time job and get to spend the days playing with 5 year olds! :) Our huddle was full of super-cute kids and we had very well behaved kids so that was definitely a blessing! I've been a Kindercamp counselor many times before but for some reason last week, at the beginning I was really struggling. Monday especially, I felt like I didn't know what to do next, where to go, or if I was even doing anything right! I don't usually lack so much self-confidence at things that I've done hundreds of time before and love doing, but Monday was def. an emotional battle! Thankfully, by the end of the day Tuesday I was having fun and felt a lot more comfortable and confident!

Ashton, my nephew, was also at day camp this past week, so we had a week long sleepover at my house. Can I just say that spending entire days with fifteen 5 and 6 year olds non-stop and then taking one home with you is VERY tiring! I mean, I pretty much didn't want to do anything once I got home in the evenings and was in bed by 930 nearly every night!

Friday night was supposed to be a sleepover with Daryl and Shelley but we got home from 2nd supper around 12am and by 1205am I was literally passed out SNORING on the floor! Ha! Every once in a while I'd wake up and add some random insight to whatever conversation was going on, and then immediately put my head down and fall right back asleep! Thank goodness for the rest of the weekend when I was able to get lots of rest!


Saturday night we had a goodbye cookout for John B. who's leaving Wednesday for Korea! What a fun time hanging out with friends! One of our plans was to walk to the trail in the dark, but somehow it turned into a secret plan to split off into small groups and try and ambush and scare myself and Shelley on the dark camp road. Thankfully, with help from a couple of other girls, we made it safely back to the house! :) However, that only happened, after we discovered the fact that Dwight has a ridiculously large barbed-wire fence behind his house! It's possible I might have almost wet my pants in shock and amusement when I saw that! True story.

Easily the highlight of the night was playing extreme spoons! I've seen it played before but never actually been apart of the action. WOW is all I can say. I was bleeding and slightly bruised after Saturday nights games, but after an even bigger battle when playing Sunday night, my arms and legs now look like I'm possibly in an abusive relationship. The fun had playing the game was so completely worth it! :)


Sunday night I also got to hear Daryl, Rebecca, Anna, Josh, John, Caleb, and David J. talk about their trip to Cambodia! It was awesome to hear about the things that God used them to do while they were there and how they were taught and humbled by God and learned so many things from the people in Cambodia that God is using still in their lives since they've been back!

100% God has given me a heart to travel the globe and tell others about Him and the way that He has changed my life and how He loves them and wants to be apart of theirs. I've been on a few short term mission trips ranging from a month to a month and a half and I've loved every minute of each and wished for more time in each country! I'd say when I've planned out my future I've always known that missions is something that will be apart of it, but more in the short term sense, like the trips I've been on before. However, last night, listening to some of the people speak and seeing the pictures and hearing about the joy of these Cambodian people, really reminded me even more about how much I want to GO! To add to it, continuously in my head and heart was this feeling that I shouldn't just be praying about short-term missions but what if God is calling me to be praying about something bigger than that?! Like long-term...be it a couple of years or the rest of my life? Now, I don't know that this is what He does or doesn't want at all. Maybe He just wants my willingness to say that I would give up all my comforts here for more than just a couple of months to follow Him at any cost. But it was def. scary and exciting, and a lot to think about how this could be something He has in store for me. Definitely something to be praying about! I'm excited no matter what to see what God has planned next!

That's enough for now. :)

Thoughts for the day...

Since 2 out of all 3 of my posts have been more on the serious side - I figured some more light-hearted or really just random thoughts for the day were in order. :)

Elevators. Ever noticed how awkwardly quiet elevators can be? I'm sure that you have. Every time I go to get on the elevator in my building, I always hope that no one else will be on there. It's like something about being cramped in that small space just makes things really weird for everyone. For me, I even think it can be awkward with people I know well. Take my clients for instance or girls I work with. These are people I talk to all the time and know fairly well. 5 minutes before the elevator comes we could be chatting it up about all sorts of things, BUT, the moment we step on the elevator together it's like there's nothing of substance left to talk about. All of a sudden we resort to conversations like "Got any plans for the evening" or "I hope it's not still so hot out". Ha - maybe it's just me, but either way, it's really the oddest thing.

Individuals in need of a lawyer. That's a little awkwardly worded and I'm not really sure what to call them since that's what they are, so I'll just explain. In my office we have a lot of different law firms. One in particular gets more calls than most, and we take payments from their clients when the lawyer isn't working in the office.

For starters, we answer calls for that company by saying "Good morning, the Smith Law Group" (name changed), and I'd guess that 3 out of 5 times the first thing the caller on the other end says is "Is this the Smith Law Firm?" Ummm - hello...isn't that what I just said? The mean spirited sarcastic part of me often wants to tell them no wonder they need a lawyer because obviously they don't know how to listen or pay attention. Honestly, I don't know what it is about this certain law firm, but isn't it interesting that all their clients, and only their clients, seem to completely miss the greeting more often than not?

Secondly, lets talk about payments, or even the particular lawyer in the company they've chosen to work with. Clients for this law firm come to drop off payments for the lawyer, yet are often unaware of the name of their lawyer. Now, call me crazy, but if I'm bringing by a couple hundred dollars in cash to drop off to my lawyer, or anyone for that matter, I'd say it's pretty important that I know his name. Obviously whatever case it is you're dealing with is important enough to be handled by a lawyer and you'd think it'd be more important to actually know what that lawyers name was. Maybe that's just me...

Lightning Bugs. Next week I'm working Kindercamp at NLC and I couldn't be more excited! Even better, I get to be a Lightning Bug which is my favorite huddle! I'm hoping to find some cool way to make a little light for my shirt on huddle day. Now that would be awesome and super creative...but we'll have to see how that actually plays out!

I love the cute little 5 and 6 year olds and their silliness! They are so precious, it doesn't even phase me to swim in the lake with them because it's just too fun not to! Add to all this that my 5 year old nephew will also be at Kindercamp and sleeping over with me all week and I'm thinking it's going to be a fabulous week! :) Tiring for sure - but WOW I can not wait!

Bachelorette. Jillian picked the right guy for her! I think even if I hadn't googled spoilers for the end, that she really did seem to lean most towards Ed. A lot of people don't like him, but I do, especially for her! I think it's because I'm all about happy endings, and I think Jillian genuinely is really into this guy. She broke poor Reid's heart, but that's okay - maybe I can take a little trip to Phillie and let him know I'm still available! I'd def. be his friend! :P

I watched the finale with more guys than girls which was a little ironic. Surprisingly, one of the guys actually watched the show all season long! It was def. not a quiet evening with 10 people present at times and over half of them boys, and I missed a whole lot of things that were said. But, I think it was so much fun that it didn't really matter what was said in the end. I just loved getting to hang out with everyone! :P

Am I prepared?

Last week I spent some time catching up online on a series called Passages from the church I was attending last summer and fall and will be going back to soon. The first message in the series was on patience and how to wait in those times in life when we are just so ready for the very next thing. What an encouraging and challenging message this was for me!

Sometimes I feel like this stage of life just really stinks. It's like I'm stuck somewhere between a college kid and a real-adult. Based on my age though, and the bills I'm stuck paying, even when I don't feel like it - I'd say I am DEFINITELY a real adult! :)

I think part of the reason I feel sort of in limbo is because all those things I see as "adult" decisions or events just haven't happened yet for me. More than anything, the biggest adult thing would be that someday, I am really hoping God allows me to be a wife and a mom. But, even though I want that, I think what burdens me even more at this stage of life, is feeling a little useless in how I spend my time - particularly my work day.

I feel 100% sure that God has called me to serve Him in full-time vocational ministry. But for now, for different reasons, that just hasn't been an option. One big reason is finances. A college degree is required for just about any job these days, including ministry; ironically for me, paying back loans for that college degree is a lot of what is keeping me from exploring more vocational ministry options and having the type of job I am really passionate about. Knowing this can definitely be frustrating and discouraging at times. It's like I'm so TIRED of waiting!

That phrase is something I say so often, and was totally called out on while listening to this sermon. The pastor pointed out that so often we say "I'm tired of waiting" but in reality, shouldn't we really be saying "I'm prepared for what's next"? Last week, God showed me, in more ways than one, just how unprepared I really am. God used multiple individuals in my life to point out just how much I truly fail at setting a good example for the non-believers in my life and for loving on those who are different than me.

I constantly complain about EVERYTHING. My actions and words can change based on who I am around and sometimes I am so intimidated to be a BOLD witness for Christ no matter who is present. I'm selfish and self-centered and unwilling to inconvenience myself by inviting non-christians around me to church or church-related events because I might be uncomfortable. Seriously?! These people don't have the hope that I have in Christ and I'm worried about being uncomfortable?! How UNprepared am I?!

What's so cool is that God completely used this time of showing me so many weaknesses and humbling me, to also encourage me about right where He has me. I might not be prepared yet for the next big thing in life, but God is totally working on and preparing my heart for whatever it is. It might be 10 days from now or it might be 10 years from now, but how encouraging to know that God wants to prepare and use someone so sinful like me!

I'm excited to see what the next stage of life will bring, but until then, I'm praying for patience and hope to wait on what God has for me. I need to be seeking after Him whole heartedly and allowing Him to prepare and change my heart so that I can serve and bring Him glory, even while I wait! I know it will be big and great, whatever it is, but I definitely don't want to be there unprepared, and I'm glad to know as long as I'm seeking Christ, He won't let that happen!

"One boy fighting for one girl..."

If you live to be 100, I hope I live to be 100 minus 1 day, so I never have to live without you - Winnie the Pooh



In real life, most people don't meet the love of their life while posing as a high school student... and realistically, how many parents secretly hire someone to date their son? Not a chance I'm ever bumping into that cute guy I saw running at the beach later at the coffee shop and do I really expect the guy I've paid to attend a wedding with me to actually fall in love? Of course not!

Now, while I know not to expect Hollywood romances in this everyday world, it doesn't keep me from thoroughly enjoying just about every love story and romantic comedy that hits the big screen. The list of movies I own or would call my favorites feature the exact same story, being called by a different name. Boy meets girl, some sort of drama or misunderstandings ensue, they work it out, fall in love, the end. The more predictable, the better I think the movie is! In fact, I whole-heartedly expect that things will go exactly as all happy endings should, and if the conclusion offers me anything short of the guaranteed "forever" kind of love, I pretty much consider the whole movie a waste!

I've always been a sucker for love stories, probably always will be. Most likely the reason why I love Valentine's day so much! The cute scenarios and mishaps that eventually lead the couple to the fairy-tale ending are fantastic to watch, but the ending and knowing that the highlighted couple is going to be together forever is what makes it all worth it for me.

I didn't know my great-grandparents very well -I was really young when they died. But, one story I've been told and one thing about them I'll never forget, is the love that they shared for one another. My great grandma prayed that she would live to see her 70th wedding anniversary, and she died either around or right on her 70th wedding anniversary. Now yes, I'll admit, at first that sounds a little morbid, BUT when you really think about it, how cool is that?! When she said "I do" she meant forever, and I can only imagine that because I know she and my great-grandpa loved the Lord, that God totally honored her request. She literally spent an entire lifetime with the one she loved.

My grandma is two years older than my Papap and from what I've heard, she wasn't interested in giving him the time of day when they first met. He must have been one handsome and charming 20-something because somehow he managed to break down all her initial opinions of him and score himself an older woman! :P And, after 58 years of marriage, much like my great-grandparents, they are well on their way to having spent their lives with their one true love.

My grandma is a lover of word search puzzles, an amazing gardener and when she cooked, made some of the best fried chicken and sticky white rice that I think I've ever eaten. By 7am on summer mornings, when we were little, she would be tickling our feet and telling us we were wasting the day away! Everyday, we ate lunch on tv trays in the living room, while watching an episode of Perry Mason, followed by CHiPs. At night, she would read Bible stories to us before bed, and though she might have inwardly, I never remember her flinching when we asked to her read the story about Peter in jail for the 100th evening in a row! She always kept a corkboard in her kitchen overflowing with pictures and postcards of foreign missionaries that she was continuously praying for.

My papap is a retired Christian and Missionary Alliance pastor and in his younger days, rumor has it, was also pretty good at baseball - the Cardinals are his favorite team. Singing is something he has always enjoyed; but don't expect him to sing you a song, without stopping in the middle of it to tell you about his Savior and all the things that God has done for him. He enjoys late night snacks of ice cream or candy, and never passes up the chance to tell you one of the million good joke he's heard. In the middle of any given conversation, he'll stop you so that he can take the time to pray for you, the future, or whatever it is that is going on.

They both love McDonalds and Cracker Barrell and the bags of mini-assorted candy bars. They love their friends and they really love their family. But, most importantly, they love Jesus, with all their heart. And it could only be because of this, that they've been able to weather 58 years of the storms of life together, and still be as much, if not more in love, than they ever have been.

Sadly, it seems the next storm of life has hit. My grandma has been confined to bed and unable to move as a result of a back injury from a fall. Compounded with her age and other complications going on, the doctor has said that treatments to help don't seem to be working and she's rapidly declining. My papap has suffered tremendously from the stress of worrying about the one he loves and is physically worn down. Additionally, he's scheduled for a colonoscopy within the next week, and the doctors have said that based on the signs, we should be expecting the worst results.

While it's hard to watch all of this going on, what I have seen more and more, is just the way these two people still love and need each other. "I need you" is what my grandma told my papap when we went to visit her in the hospital. My papap, wasn't satisfied until his wheelchair was sitting as close as possible to my grandma's bedside. Like a line from the old country song by Shenandoah - I Wanna Be Loved Like That - that says "One boy fighting for one girl"...it's as if I was able to see for the first time how much each of them really has gone down hill physically, and how much each of them is fighting for the other by still holding on. There's no doubt in my mind, that when one decides it's finally time to let go, the other is going to be quick to follow. They can't help it, they literally love each other so much, I know one won't be able to live without the other. I can only hope that someday, should God choose to bless me with a husband and an earthly picture of His heavenly love, that after a lifetime of goods and bads, we are still fighting for each other until the very end.

I guess to finish, first, let me say that my papap and grandma are two of the most important people to me and I'm so thankful for the Godly example they have been in my life, and I know so many others. Secondly, I would just ask that you would be praying for them. For strength, for health, for the time they have left here on this earth. The selfish part of me wants you to pray that they would be healed completely and live at least another few years; but, realistically, knowing what I know, just pray that whether they have one day left or one year left, that they are happy, comfortable, cared for, and able to be surrounded by their loved ones, as much as possible. And, myself, my family.... can have a peace knowing, that when it is time for them to leave this earth, that they'll be happy in heaven, with no more aches or pains or heartaches, and they'll praising our God forever.