i always think i've got it figured out....only to realize i dont.  at all.


i'm just not there yet. sorry

proverbs 16:9

"the heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps"


overwhelmed at where things in my life seemed to be heading right now.  it's all good, don't get me wrong - i'm excited!  just so surprised that this is where i am.  not a place i probably would've have imagined a year ago, but honestly i feel like all of it is a product of me taking small steps of faith and in obedience to things i felt God leading me to do.  i just had no idea where He was taking me.  and He has continued to confirm in one way or another each step.


i'm humbled and amazed.  a little nervous to let go of a few things, but excited about what comes next. 


i'll keep you posted :)

updates

moldova:  turns out God answered prayers so much quicker than my little faith expected and as of friday, i have raised $2030 for my trip, with a verbal promises of $150 more!

my sister and brother-in-law are renewing their vows with a small wedding ceremony this year, and i get my chance as maid-of-honor. :)
i finished book #5 for the year and am already started on #6.  if that makes me a dork - i'm okay with it.  
tangled - incredibly.cute.movie.

summer, summer, summerrrrrr :)

in  case you haven't already heard, this summer i am going to Moldova on a mission trip.  why Moldova, you may ask?  i say - why not Moldova ? there's a saying i've heard a number of different times that goes something like "you either give or you go" and God has definitely given me a big desire to GO!  so when the opportunity was presented to me, in short, i thought - what reason do i have to not go?  Jesus has commanded us to go and make disciples and i'm excited to be a part of the Great Commission.  as a bonus, turns out Shelley is also going!  she said yes to the trip the same day i did, and neither of us knew it.  i'm thinking that is totally a God thing.  


for more info about the trip you can click the picture below to see my support letter.  i've also put a picture of my fundraising thermometer so i can keep everyone updated on my progress.  


please be praying for myself, as well as the rest of the team,  as we prepare for this trip.  and, if you would like to be involved in this trip through financially giving - just get in touch with me! :)

*lessons learned*

God has really given me a heart for high school and college age girls and wanting to serve and minister to them at such a transitional stage in life.  Shelley actually also has a big heart for the same age group and the other night we spent some time chatting just about a few of our heartaches and regrets from those ages that we wish we could tell our younger self.  And, that we wish we could pass on to some girls that age now who we see going through the same things.  The convo really got me to thinking about all of the things I would tell 17/18 year old me, and while I'm sure this list is no way exhaustive, I figured I'd share a few.

1) say "thank you" to your parents more.  your frame of reference for life and bills and chaos is nothing like it will be in a few years.  your parents have sacrificed a lot for you so you didn't have to do without.  make sure they know you appreciate it.

2) listen to others and pay more attention.  everyone is fighting some battle or heartache.  instead of constantly complaining about why your life is so terrible, take time to see how you can love on and encourage those around you who may be dealing with something even greater than who talked trash about you behind your back.

3) save, save, SAVE.  you don't really need that new dress.  does this one honestly need anymore explanation?

4) keep practicing your violin.  so what if its not the "coolest" instrument in the world.  someday you're gonna wish you could still play.

5) create healthier habits.  work out. learn to like more veggies and fruits.  one day your body is going to require these things to keep functioning and it'll be a lot harder to get in the habit then.

6) eat more junk.  in moderation, of course.  your metabolism will slow down, so why not take advantage of that extra cookie or piece of cake while you can.  and remember, you are NOT fat.

7) don't give your heart away so easily.  someday, God willing, you will have that prince charming husband and perfect little family with 2.5 kids and a dog.  but don't rush it.  and don't give away even the smallest piece of your heart, emotions, or your body until then.  you will regret it.

8)  don't wish your life away.  the older you get, it really does seem like, the faster time goes.  you have the rest of your life for whatever it is that comes next.  enjoy living the careless lifestyle (even if it sometimes includes ridiculous amounts of homework) because it wont last forever.

9) confidence is key.  stop caring so much about what others think about you.  a little confidence in yourself will go a long way.

10) a core group of girls is a necessity.  sometimes girls have more drama, yes, but a girl will also understand that matters of your heart so much better than any guy "best friend" can.  make sure you have at least one girl to laugh, cry, and fight with.

11) value your extended family.  sure, it can be boring sometimes hanging out in the old folks home with papap and grandma or missing that party with your friends because your family is having a reunion.  but someday you'll wish you had treasured the limited time you got to spend with those who love you the most.

12) take care of your skin.  wear sunscreen and don't pick.  scars and skin cancer are not as cool as being tan or trying to make that blemish disappear in time for prom.

13) take life less seriously.  stop stressing and worrying over stupid things you can't control.  laugh more, forgive and move on quicker.  

14) branch out.  take more chances to do things you might be a little hesitant or scared to do.  make friends with people you might not usually or join a club that interests you, even if all your friends are doing something different.  

15) you aren't a grown up.  you might think that because you're 18+ you've finally reached adulthood, but you are so very wrong.  in 10 years, you'll realize how little you know and will literally discuss with your friends "when do you think we will actually start to feel like an adult?"

I'm not old, and I definitely have so little wisdom compared to what I'd someday love to have.  But, in my 27 years on this earth, I can definitely say I've "wised up" in some areas and learned a few things.  I am certain though, I still have sooooooooo much more to learn.

how did it come to this?

i've neglected blogging lately....so much has happened since the last post, too much to even post here...or want to make an effort to...


do you ever think God just looks down at us and thinks "what are you doing?!  i wish you wouldn't say that or think that or act like that..."  i'm not just talking about me.  i mean, i'm certain He thinks that about me more often than i'd like.  but just us, as a people, as friends, or a church, or a nation, or the world.  i ask myself all the time "how did i get here, how did it come to this?" and sometimes i really think God just has to be looking at us and wondering the same thing. of course, i feel sure the answer is sin.  thats why we do what we do. but why, why, why choose all of these things over Him...all the time. honestly - how did we get here?

yep.

yep, this week, i DO have my first moldova meeting.
yep, this wednesday, i WILL be at the chamber of commerce business expo downtown all day.
        (click here to get your free tickets to check it out/visit me) :)
yep, this week, i AM going to the beach.
yep, this week, me and mom ARE going to the movies.
yep, this week, i WILL see my papap and grandma in pennsylvania.
yep, i HAVE been looking forward to this week for so, so, long.
yep, this MIGHT be the best week ever!

what comes next

this past year God has convicted my heart and begun to change it about a lot of different things.  and it's funny because each time i think to myself "shew - i'm glad i got that one under control", instead i'm convicted again about ways that i can take it just one step further.  my faith has been challenged, but again my heart has been changed.  its so cool to finally see some things changing where literally the only thing i can say is "its not me, its Jesus" because i knowwwwwww stubborn, sinful, selfish ashley would never make these decisions on my own.

a little nervous, but oh so excited to see what comes next! :)

nostalgia

long live....

*and the cynics were outraged, screaming 'this is absurd.'  cause for a moment a band of thieves, in ripped up jeans, got to rule the world.*

all in a days work...kinda.. :)

last night - small group with only the ladies was awesome.  love, love hearing from their hearts.
today, i woke up in a fantastic mood - just because :)
today, is my favorite weekday of upward - both kindergarten practices!
today, i bought taylor swift tickets and excited doesn't begin to describe my feelings!
tonight, its tv time and black bean and spinach enchiladas with laura.  Y-U-M


i'd say, it's shaping up to be a pretty awesome 24 hours.