"if you change your mind...

i'm the first in line; honey i'm still free - take a chance on me"

this weekend has been great already. ;) and there's still plenty more left. things aren't at all how i expected them to be...but i really can't complain.

life is good. really. :)

for the record....

...summer time just puts me in a good mood.
...ordering contacts is expensive.
...my new croakies came today.
...i like hannah montana. the tv show and her music.
...i ate A LOT yesterday. big thumbs up for this!
...summer time also makes me miss a lot of people.
...i need to start taking more pictures again.
...i can't believe it's not already friday.
...i ordered new rainbows today.
...i feel like i'm finally back to "normal" ash! :)

randomness

i'm so caught up on all my tv shows. i'm certain that hasn't happened since maybe december.

i moved around my living room furniture! next up - the bedroom! :)

my handwriting is very easy to distinguish.

all this rain has caused my apartment to spring a few leaks...lets hope that gets fixed asap.

in the past 2 months, my morning coffee has gradually been replaced with morning ginger ale.

i have amazing friends. from camp. from school. from work. from just about every stage of my life.

right now, i believe the possibilities are endless...and i really think i'm okay with that.

not just one, but TWO!!!

in case you missed it in the last post, i am OH SO EXCITED to get to work teen week at camp. there just are not enough words to say how happy it makes me! this morning, God totally put on my heart to go ahead even now and pray for the girls He is going to put in my cabin and just be thankful for this awesome opportunity He has given me. so that is exactly what i did.

then the crushing news...this afternoon, i found out you have to be in attendance at orientation week, all of it, to be a counselor for teen week. :/ no way was my boss going to let me have not one, but two full weeks off, and back to back. BUT, for some reason, i decided to ask anyways.

i prayed about it quickly and then called my boss.... and to my surprise HE SAID YES!!!! :)

so now, not only do i get to be a counselor for teen week, but i also have to opportunity to spend two weeks at camp and two weeks outside of the office!

SO SO SOOOOOOOO very happy right now! :)

it's just where i am

how did i get here? ever asked yourself that question? 'cause i feel like i've been saying it a lot lately. new season of the bachelorette premieres monday! some minivans now have windows that roll down in the back. i have to say - i think that's a pretty fantastic idea. starting point church had their first 1st preview service this weekend and it was awesome! also, wonderful to see some faces i've missed very much.cooper asked charlotte to marry him with a pretty fantastic proposal on private practice last week. love it! i really like unlined paper...for my journal, my notepads, notecards, everything. when i was little and learning to color i had a hard time staying inside of the lines - maybe that's why? what's not to love about taking jumping pics?!i use google a lot. but it's very possible i use m-w.com even more..i just LOVE that website. so weird. i know. chris hughes is home until the end of the week! so fun - a little k3 reunion time...even if we haven't had donuts! as of yesterday, i officially get to work teen week at camp! giddy and excited don't begin to describe how i feel about that! :) happy birthday to steven morrison and savannah pezzoli - both turning 1!!!

*battling it out*

"whatever controls your thoughts controls your life. focus determines feelings. if satan can get you focused on your fear...then he gets you distracted and he causes you to walk in defeat"

man have i let satan have my number lately. i can honestly say i've been living life defeated...and it is awful. though i don't know why, this is quite possibly the toughest battle i've ever fought. and i've been losing - big time.

i've let fear and worry and dread and every other horrible thing control my thoughts, my emotions, my focus. in response, my sleep has been affected, my appetite and weight have really been affected, and my overall health and well being has just not been great.

why do i do this? why is it so easy to lose sight of the One who is all-powerful and omniscient? why do i devote my entire focus and energy onto trying to handle and figure out the things in my life, as if i have any control over them in the first place?

"may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit"
romans 15:13

hope: to cherish a desire with anticipation; to expect with confidence; trust

i want to focus on Him - the God of hope. i have to choose to focus on Him. only He can fill me with real joy and real peace. i want to overlow with hope, and with expecation of all the things He has for me. i can be confident that my God is so much bigger than any of these petty things i let get me down. i can't live life defeated anymore. i won't live life defeated anymore. i'm choosing to keep trusting God with it all.

"...we take every thought captive and make it obedient to Christ"
2 corinthians 10:5