more blah blah blah

christmas was wonderful - i love spending time with my family...andddd having 3 full days to do absolutely nothing :)

i do not love way outspending on christmas presents.

the ability to watch movies instantly on your computer is a brilliant idea - thank you netflix!

something about getting my hands dirty while baking makes me really happy :)

i just haven't felt like blogging lately

this week, i had my first real nightmare in years :( not.fun.at.all.

spending new years eve in greensboro - so excited to hang out with some great friends :)

use the link below to support my friends adoption and get a sweet t-shirt!

http://zachandlaura.blogspot.com/2010/11/free-gift-for-youkinda.html

blah blah blah

a HUGE thank you!

i have fantastic friends! last night, in the freezing cold, we moved almost all my stuff from my old apartment to the new one. they didn't have to do it, but they did...and i could not have done it without them! in fact, i'm not sure how i have ever moved without their help!

soooooooo THANK YOU....

shelley beckylee jenny david matt rob jon jack josh

and, my family!

:)

nowwww, who wants to volunteer to help me unpack? :P

why do i vote?

this explanation comes a few days late, but just something that's played over in my mind a lot this past week. why exactly do i vote? i mean sure, i want my "voice to be heard" and all...but it is definitely easy to think that one vote really wont make a difference. that statement could, or couldn't be true. but, even more than wanting a say in who it is that leads my country, my county, and the schools my future children may or may not attend...i vote because i can. God allowed me to live in the United States of America. i have been given a lot of rights and freedoms that people in many other places don't have. and one of those, a big one, is the right to help choose who my leaders are. its a simple reason really, but also so big. i'm blessed to live in a place like this where i can vote. so i guess really, a better question, is why wouldn't i vote?

you may or may not know that

*i used to say i hate raleigh. i've realized now that i don't hate raleigh, there's just very few important things here that make me want to stay*my new car is the first automatic car i've had in 10 years *googling pickup lines is a fun and acceptable way to waste time* my goal for this next year, or even the next month before i move, is to get rid of lots of clothes and organize the rest* i'd much rather drink out of a plastic cup than a glass one*i've lived in north carolina my whole life, but i've never been to charlotte*chace crawford is hands down the most attractive guy i've ever seen*my favorite toy growing up was a stuffed lion named leo. i slept with him until after i graduated college and my dog chewed him up. now i store him in a box*social situations that should be normal and the most comfortable for me can sometimes make me feel so incredibly awkward and nervous* usually, i play songs on repeat - not like 2 or 3 times, but for an entire day* i could people watch for hours at a time. it's part of why i love big cities and places like the state fair so much* i hate having all white walls in my house. i also hate painting* crime shows are one of my favorites. but the fact that the cases are always solved in only a day is so irritating to me*last night was my first time going to franklin street for the halloween experience* if i could only have 2 guests at my wedding someday, it'd be my papap and grandma*the allstate mayhem commercials are some of my favs* i like my pop tarts slightly burned. sometimes, i also like my popcorn this way* orchids are my favorite flower* i have to sleep with the covers tucked under my feet, not into the bed*rarely do i branch out and try new foods. especially any foods that couldn't be described as "plain" *it's not time for a new dog yet, but when it is, i really just want another boxer* i hate being vulnerable. the older i get, the more this is the case* there are only a handful of people in my life that i always feel 100% free to be myself around*thunderstorms terrify me. like a hide in the hallway and sleep on the floor type of fear* often, when i'm frustrated with something, i'll make this weird grunting noise* i'm currently keeping up with 10 tv shows. ptl for hulu!*brown eyes are my favorite*

just because i can

-i've eaten reeses cups at least 3 times in the past two weeks - if you know me well enough, you know why that is weird for at least 2 reasons.
-when i was little sprite is the only soda i ever drank. but i always thought it was too fizzy so i'd shake up the bottle before opening it.
-my phone broke this morning. andddd the new one doesn't come until friday. :(
-i check backwards. in 5th grade i had a crush on a left handed boy who checked backwards and i apparently wanted to be like him. the habit just stuck with me.
-i haven't really done laundry in maybe close to 2 months. that should tell you how many clothes i have that i don't need. it also should tell you that i'm probably going to have to spend an entire night awake to wash clothes and put them away.
-the fall tv lineup makes me very excited. thank goodness for hulu.
-2 weeks until the state fair!!! :)

my story

the series at church the past 3 weeks has been called "your story". we've talked all about how God can use the things from our past - good things, mistakes, hurts and heartaches, to use us and to shape our future. we've talked about the present and how we communicate with God and what our lives would look like if we let our relationship with Him affect our decisions in the present. and lastly, this week, we talked about the things God has promised us and how those can shape our view and outlook on the future.

i'd say this last week was probably where God spoke to me most. i've seen Him use my past and ugly, hard, and/or hurtful things to change me and work in me in ways i never thought possible. and i really am striving to allow Him to always influence the decisions i make in the present. but man, sometimes, crappy things in life get me down or i just get discouraged about the future and where i'm headed and i totally lose sight of all God has promised. i quit living life focused on Him and instead am completely focused on my self and what i can do to change things.

but, God has promised me so many wonderful things. He's promised to complete me, He's promised to give me joy and peace. He's said that He will give me wisdom if i ask for it, and He's preparing an awesome heavenly home with Him that i'll go to someday. if i lived my life, and based my thoughts and decisions about the future on all of this - wow would my life be different.

one of the questions we covered in the small group lesson with the high school girls last night asked us to describe the character of Christ and to think about how much more trust we would put in these promises if we really understood and believed in who God is.

"the Lord is good...."
nahum 1:7

God is good. it's something simple i know i say a lot, and even hear others say a lot. and God really is good. but i think there is so much more to that statement that just straightforward, immediate thought or response we might have when we say or hear that statement. if God is good, and God is also unchanging, then that means He can never be anything less or offer us anything less than what is good. wow - when i really think about it....that just blows my mind and really encourages me. why would i ever be worried about my future if i really trusted in and believed in this characteristic of my great God? if i believe God is good and that He can't change - then how can He ever give me something that in the end will not be good?

right now, life is pretty easy. i've got a lot of great things going on and i am very happy with how things are happening! :) i honestly have no real complaints. but, there are always going to be ups and downs. right now is a high, and at any time the low could come. i want to train myself to remember and focus on these promises of God. i know who He is. i know that He is trustworthy and i know He has my best interests in mind. He has promised me great things, and i really don't have any reason to ever worry about my story or what the future holds.

no matter what

*i’m running back to your promises one more time;

Lord that’s all i can hold on to.

i gotta say this has taken me by surprise,

but nothing surprises You.

before a heartache can ever touch my life,

it has to go through Your hands.

and even though i, i keep asking why....

no matter what, i’m gonna love You,

no matter what i’m gonna need You.

i know that You can find a way to keep me from the pain

but if not,if not, i’ll trust you, no matter what...

when i’m stuck in this nothing-ness by myself,

i’m just sitting in silence.

there’s no way i can make it without Your help,

i wont even try it.

i know You have Your reasons for everything,

so i will keep believing,

whatever i might be feeling, God, You are my hope,

and You'll be my strength*

-kerrie roberts

thirteen thoughts this thursday :P

1) i think it should already be friday.
2) i think its dumb if you call someone, they tell you that you have a wrong number, and then you ask them if they have the right number. happens more often than you'd think.
3) i think zac efron is pretty attractive.
4) i think its so awesome to see the things God's done in my life that i really can only give credit and glory to Him for.
5) i think if you have an attorney, or anyone you're paying for a service, that you should know their name. first and last.
6) i think its safe to say disney channel on demand is one of my favorites.
7) i think i need to get rid of some clothes.
8) i think pride plays such a big part in our lives, that sometimes its hard to recognize we are even being prideful.
9) i think i have the best sister in the entire world.
10) i think the fair can't come soon enough.
11) i think its a tie between spring and fall for my two favorite seasons.
12) i think we make a lot of situations and decisions harder than they have to be, and create more chaos for ourselves, by choosing to hold out on doing what we know is the right thing.
13) i think my life is absolutely fabulous and i've been blessed with more than i could've ever dreamed possible. :)

let it go

i've spent so much time in my life fighting God for things i thought i wanted. even things that though they might not be bad for me, were also not good for me...because they weren't where God wanted me, or who He wanted me with. deep down i knew something wasn't right, i even knew they weren't right....but i fought God for these things or these people anyway. it was too scary to think of letting them go and what might happen. what might come next. and, though so painful sometimes to let go - i don't regret any of those decisions. peace and joy with where i am are SOOOO much better than the constant questioning, restlessness, over-analyzing, and justification that always came from holding on so tightly to those things and those people.

it kills me.....like really breaks my heart...to see some friends going through those same things.

* jonah 2:8-9*

i'll take Jesus and His love any day over the worthless idols i make out of things and relationships in this world.

*i've been holding on so tight.

look at these knuckles, they've gone white.

i'm fighting for who i wanna be.

i'm just trying to find security.

but You say let it go, You say let it go.

You say life is waiting for the ones who lose control.

You say you will be everything i need.

You say if i lose my life it's then i'll find my soul.

You say let it go*

i love maryland

or at least some people who live there :)

i'm bacccckkkkk! ;)

my life really is good. seriously, God has given me such joy and excitement lately about life - about where it is, and what comes next. i'm learning and growing and changing and it's cool for me to experience that.

i've designated the next month as "start-over september". i've made a few new years resolution-like goals for myself this month. changing things up. giving others the benefit of the doubt. exercising self-control.

sunday, september 12th is national back to church sunday! this is also the sunday for the official launch of starting point church. we will be meeting in mission valley theater at 930am and 11am. if you don't already have a church home, you're looking for a change, or you just want to come out and support starting point on it's launch sunday - i'd love to see you there!

fourteen friday fun facts

i have a brand new camera!!!
campus point video scavenger hunt is this evening.
i always pray with my eyes open and sing with my eyes closed.
one week until i visit maryland, dc, and see brittni!!
working on starting up a little pet-sitting business - spread the word. ;)
i've made fun of tons of people for using twitter, and now - i'm totally hooked.
some weird bug has taken up residence in my kitchen. gross - i know - so orkin came to spray yesterday.
two weeks 'til the official launch of starting point church.
i love my core group.
isn't it comforting knowing Jesus will never change?
for my birthday, i'd like an nc state snuggie and a capsac. :P
catching up with old friends is always amazing!
my hair is newly colored - and i love it.
i could watch the movie 'the last song' on repeat.

favs as of lately

*some things i've come across on my own or that have been shared with me that i'm really loving right now*

"God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks to us in our conscience, but shouts in our pains: it is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world" - cs lewis

"the Lord is good to those who depend on him, to those who search for him" - lamentations 3:25

"God, who foresaw your tribulation, has specially armed you to go through it, not without pain, but without stain" - cs lewis

http://dt1021.wordpress.com/2010/07/23/blessings-of-singleness-5-lack-of-physical-intimacy/

"i have set the Lord always before me, because he is at my right hand, i will not be shaken" - psalm 16:8

"i need Christ, not something that resembles him" - cs lewis

"you thrill me, Lord, with all you have done for me! i sing for joy because of what you have done." - psalm 92:4


can you tell i follow cs lewis daily on twitter? :P

old habits die hard

10 new things i'd like to have or experience in this lifetime

*a house with shelves and shelves of books*backstage passes for a concert*the culture and people in at least 5 countries that i've never been to*to pet a pig*owning and learning to use a really nice camera*new york city*the trials and joys that come with being a wife and mom*camping in the middle of nowhere*to work at the state fair*a surprise birthday party*

patience

i know Your plan is perfect. please Dad, let me be patient and wait. help me to not worry over the parts of Your wonderful plan that just don't seem so perfect to me.

*we're waiting here,

waiting for You God,

with our hopes and fears we come,

empty handed.

Lord draw us near,

heal these broken hearts

and lift us up to fall,

before everything You are*

laughter really is the best medicine

last night i got to hang out with some of my closest friends, in honor of davids birthday. pei wei, krispy kreme (of course), tons of pics and so much laughing! it was the first time in months i've felt completely like myself...and that is SUCH a wonderful thing! :)

sufficient

hear my heart Lord as i cry out to You
hear my prayer Lord and carry me through
in Your mercy in the promise You made
be my strength Lord when my strength fades away

cause when i am weak your strength is complete
it’s perfect
completely all i need
sufficient for me
Your grace and peace are perfect
completely all i need
You’re all that i need

in my weakness i’m finding Your strength
in my sorrow a gentle embrace
through the seasons of laughter or pain
You are listening
when i call out Your name

i'll find You when i seek
i'll look for You with all of my heart
and i’ll find You when i’m weak
cause You are strong

hear my heart Lord as i cry out to You
hear my prayer Lord and carry me through
carry me through

i'm not at home

There are so many things I want and desire to have in this life. I want great friends and a good job. I want to be a wife and a mom. And of course, as much as I love dogs, I want a cute little pup to go with my sweet little family. I wish for all decisions to be easy and that there was never any hurt. I want a life of comfort and ease, and I'd venture to say that I'm not alone in this feeling.

Lately though, I've felt like life was anything but comfortable and easy. I've felt hurt and lost and broken. I've been confused and angry and sad. Friendships and relationships have changed. My job has changed. I even had to say goodbye to my dog. (That might not be a big deal to some - but for me it was huge). I've battled bitterness and discontentment. I've tried to understand the purpose of so much change and loss. And, as best as I could, I've put on my happy face, and tried to act okay, to be okay, in the midst of having so many "comfortable" things in my life taken away or altered.

Just a few weeks ago, it hit me all at once, just how much I felt like I'd had to give up in only about half a years time. Why was so much hurt necessary? I just wanted to understand. The only conclusion I could come up with was that God had to be preparing me for something. What other reason would He have to allow so many big things in my life to be modified so much or even removed? Surely He was trying to get my attention, shake me up, getting ready to hopefully use me big time!

I still think God wants to use me and that is exciting; the truth is, He wants to use all of us if we are just willing. But now, I think there's more reminding and teaching that He has been trying to do than just that. Could it be that I've gotten so caught up in the things of this world, that He wants to remind me that this world, and all the things it has to offer, are not home. My mom was the first to suggest this, and my study of the Word lately has only seemed to confirm it even more.

I've semi camped-out in parts of Luke 12 over the past week.

*Sell your possessions and give to the poor. Provide purses for yourselves that will not wear out, a treasure in heaven that will not be exhausted, where no thief comes near and no moth destroys. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also*
vs. 33-34

Now I know these verses are probably talking more about actual physical possessions. A house, a car, money, etc. But, I do think our treasures in this life, at least for me, can be so much more than just physical possessions. It's no secret that the dictionary website is one of my favs! So, of course I looked up the definition for treasure. One of it's listed meanings is "something of great worth or value; also: a person esteemed as rare or precious." So, if I'm going with that definition of treasure, then each of the things in my life I feel like I've lost or has significantly changed could fall under the category of "treasures".

Don't get me wrong, I don't think it's awful of me to want a job that I enjoy, or a godly husband, family, and best friends. In fact, I think God has given me those desires. But, I'd say the problem comes in when I get so comfortable with those things, and begin to desire them, and the things of this world, more than my Heavenly Father and my eternal home. I've forgotten why I'm here, like is so easy to do, and placed my hope and value in things that will fade away. And losing them has been painful. But, it's also caused me to rely only on Jesus. It's made me long to know Jesus better, and the effect has left me yearning for my home with Him more than I ever have before.

*Be dressed and ready for service and keep your lamps burning like men waiting for their master to return from a wedding banquet, so that when he comes and knocks they can immediately open the door for him....It will be good for those servants whose master finds them ready, even if he comes in the second or third watch of the night*
vs 35-36, 38

As a servant of Jesus, I need to be ready and watchful at all times. I should be focusing on the opportunities Christ gives me to serve Him here on this earth, and watchful and hopeful for His return. But if I'm storing up treasures on earth, instead of in heaven, how easy will it be for me to miss chances to serve while living in this world? And, how often will I be sidetracked by the shifting things this world has to offer, instead of the unchanging gifts and everlasting hope I find in Christ?

The desires of my heart haven't changed at all. I still want a family of my own someday, wonderful friends, to work in a job that I love. But, this time of pain and growth in my life has allowed me to see that these things are just temporary and will never truly satisfy. My hearts real longing is for Jesus and I shouldn't get too comfortable here. Such an easy place for me to slip-up, such a hard lesson to learn, and one I'm sure God is not done teaching me. In spite of the heartache and confusion though, I'm so thankful for the growth it has fostered in my life. I want to keep seeking Jesus and desiring my home with Him. He is my real treasure and I want to live my life so others can see that in me.

this and that

*loved the cooler weather this weekend*i haven't bought a single new bathing suit this summer - unbelievable*just made plans for one final trip to the beach this summer* i currently have a super cute, snuggly, 4-legged house guest*starting point church preview service THIS sunday*today is a 2-cup of coffee kinda day*summer is slowly fading away and that is bittersweet*brittni is home from maryland for a short bit*chris came home from florida on sunday*new books make me very happy*advance state fair tickets are now on sale*bachelorette finale was last night - now on to the bachelor pad*wordle.net = fun little website*

life.is.good.

*labor day weekend in maryland with brittni*new books make me very happy*100+ degree weather is out of control*i wanna undo it*chris will be home in less than a week*life.is.good.*

You're not shaken

i am trembling in the darkness of my own fear
all the questions with no answers
so grip me while i’m here
and i may never know why
oh i may not understand
but i will lift up my eyes,
and trust this is Your plan

when every little thing that i have dreamed would be just slips away like water through my hands
and when it seems the walls of my beliefs are crashing down like they’re all made of sand
i won’t let go of You now
because i know, oh, You’re not shaken

this weekend i....

-->played sweet games and ate tons of junk food with friends on friday
-->hung out with brittni and her fam on saturday before she officially moved to maryland
-->got coffee and caught up with david blanchard
-->skipped a trip to the beach and instead spent a lazy sunday afternoon hanging out with laura
-->painted my fingernails black :)

i'm thankful for such a fabulous weekend, because monday was no fun at all!


i'm a k-love listener and i'm not ashamed to admit that :) recently, i signed up to receive their "encouraging word" each day by email. it comes to my phone (around 330 am, i might add), but has reallly become something i look forward to each day. and these past few days of verses have been TOTALLY what k-love intended them to be - "encouraging words" - so i figured i'd share them with you!

"i cried out to the Lord, and he answered me from his holy mountain"
psalm 3:4
"spouting off before listening to the facts is both shameful and foolish"
proverbs 18:13
"for i am waiting for you, o Lord. you must answer for me, o Lord my God"
psalm 38:15
"for our present troubles are small and won't last very long. yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever"
2 corinthians 4:17
"don't let your hearts be troubled. trust in God, trust also in me"
john 14:1


*also* - i came across the blog post below, its a family who attends church with some friends of mine from college. definitely worth checking out.
http://trevkeva.blogspot.com/2010/07/how-god-prepared-me-for-hardest-day-of.html

wish i knew

maybe the hardest 7 months of my adult life...probably not maybe. i'd say change that to absolutely.

what are you preparing me for, Jesus? i know it has to be something big...

"i took my troubles to the Lord; i cried out to him, and he answered my prayer"
psalm 120:1

current playlist for today

glory to God - fee
desert song - hillsong
starry night - chris august
aware - salvador
majesty - delirious
the stand - hillsong


-coffee date with sara shill tonight! followed by lifegroup for the 1st time!!
-campus point lifegroup tomorrow eve!
-movie date thursday night with the best sister ever!
-beach this weekend!

sara pick showed me how to make the cutest blanket ever! i'm now addicted. so many more to come, i think! :)

sucked into the newest season of big brother already. and surprisingly, caring less and less about this season of the bachelorette.

boys are stupid...

but man, so are girls.

i think we have the best of intentions. and we want to think and believe the best about people, for the most part. but gosh, sometimes, we seem to be constantly setting ourselves up for disappointment.

it's like sometimes we can come across so naive or give ourselves such false hope, when really if we sit back and honestly view the situation it's easy to see what the right thing is or what is really going on.

and how often do we make things worse for ourselves? we ask questions and over-analyze and rethink the same things we've already been over 100 times. often, we already know the answers, but if we can get one response or action that seems even slightly different - we are going to read into it and skew it more than ever...just to give ourselves what is most often, more false hope.

i'm the worst at all of these things. being a girl - by definition, i believe - makes me ridiculous.

*keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life* proverbs 4:23

help me guard my heart, jesus. let me keep my eyes on You and not on the things of this world. only You can ever satisfy.

*hallelujah, He has found me - the One my soul so long has craved. Jesus satisfies all my longings; through His blood i now am saved*

in other news :)

-i got to see brittni last night now that she's back from honduras. tonight i get to see laura and shelley. and later -this week, i'll be hanging out with sara! what a fantastic week i have planned!
-starting point church has its first sunday morning preview services this weekend. 9am and 1030am at mission valley theater - you should come check it out!
-gum popping is a HUGE pet peeve of mine. i didn't know that until this weekend.
-i've got to go to the beach soon...i miss it. :(
-fb chat is awful and out of control.
-i say 'out of control' a lot lately.
-i think there's a skype date planned for tonight with chris hughes. yes!
-this past weekend was spent in pennsylvania visiting with family. riding in a car for 7 hours, each way, is not my idea of fun, but seeing my family each time is totally worth it! here's just a couple of fav. pics from the trip! :)

need a dog or cat? ;)

july 4th and 5th adopt a pet from the wake county spca for $17.76!!!

through july 3rd you can adopt a pet from the newly expanded wake county animal shelter for $25!!!

here's your chance to make some little furry friends life! :) click on the lines above (they are links :P) for more information!


i'm on twitter now. http://twitter.com/AshMac1101
i'm not one of those people who folds my napkin; i usually crinkle them up when i use them.
i really enjoy eating out alone sometimes.
the fam. is leaving tomorrow for pennsylvania for the 4th! :)

four men were killed in a car accident this morning. none of them that old. as if the story isn't sad enough, the comments people have made on it are even more sad and ridiculous. already people are making sarcastic remarks about "bad drivers" and how they killed their friends. or the suspicious reasons these men may or may not have been carrying their ID with them. they could've been "suspicious" characters and maybe the person driving did make some mistakes. even if that's the case, EVERYONE makes mistakes. what's most important is that four lives were lost today. four men - sons, possible brothers, husbands, or even dads. why is it so necessary that we overlook the really important stuff and immediately look to start pointing fingers and stating who made what mistakes. have we really become such an ignorant and heartless people? unbelievable.

i have amazing friends. i don't even think the word "amazing" does them justice. they come from just about every stage of my life. and daily i am loved on and encouraged by at least one of them, i feel like - even when i least expect it.

thank you, Jesus for so many wonderful, godly friends.

i would like this to be easier. thank you very much.

a little of what i've been learning...

it's funny how many times you can hear a bible story or an encouraging word or bible verse from someone, and just not really let its application sink in. there are tons of bible stories i've heard over and over during the course of my life, but never really taken anything from them or seen what truth i can take away from them and apply in my life.

a couple of weeks ago, my mom was talking to me about the story of shadrach, meshach and abednego. you can find it in daniel 3 - just in case you want to look it up. :) it's a story i've heard over and over and thought about how "cool" it is, but that's really it. i've honestly never put much more thought into it than that. multiple times, over the past 2 weeks, though - God has brought that story to mind and given me insight into how i can apply it to my life and where i am right now.

i've struggled big time the past couple of months with understanding why sometimes when i feel like i'm being obedient to God, do things turn out completely differently than i thought. if i'm trying to listen and obey and i have a peace about my decisions that i feel sure come from God, then why would i end up in the middle of heartache and chaos?

shadrach, meshach and abednego were totally being obedient to God. they definitely didn't make any mistakes by not bowing down to the gold statue that nebuchadnezzar had set up. yet somehow, they still ended up in the middle of chaos - in the middle of a blazing fire! but, God was totally there with them. and, in the end, it says they came out not even smelling like smoke. i mean, how could they give credit and glory to anyone other than God after that?

i feel like i'm standing in some fires of life right now - even after making decisions i thought were being obedient. but, i know that God is right there with me - even when i feel all alone or discouraged. and, at the end of all this - i know God is going to deliver me and i want to come out of this like shadrach, meshach, and abednego - not even smelling like smoke! it's exciting to think that at the end of all this i can look back and give glory to God alone for the way i know He will deliver me. even now, the way my heart and thoughts and attitudes have been growing and changing, can't be attributed to anyone other than Him!

while at camp, i was also struck by another sort of reality or truth that i can take away from this story. we talked a lot about God's plan for our lives and His direction and leading. one of the questions i asked the girls in my cabin one night during devotions was if they thought always knowing exactly what God's will was and what He had planned next would make it easier to follow. i'm pretty sure just about every girls hand was raised, saying they thought this would be easier. and honestly, before really studying and processing this bible story - i have to say, i would have totally agreed with them.

now for my new perspective. if i was shadrach, meshach or abednego i'm not sure it would have been any easier for me to follow God's plan for my life if He told me it included literally being thrown into a fire. especially once i was informed of the fact that it was because i was choosing to serve only Him and no other gods. i mean, my reward for obedience is something that is sure to lead to my death? i feel like that's a question i would be asking - but, i definitely don't think knowing that was God's plan for my life would make following it any more enticing. in the end, God still received all the glory and praise due to Him, but i don't think i'd have been all happy go lucky to jump on board with that plan! so really, knowing the plan, probably wouldn't have made things any easier.

i guess, to me, the reality of it is i don't know God's plan for my life. and, i'm never going to know exactly what He has next. what i do know, is that in good times and bad, He is with me every step of the way and i want to always be living in obedience to Him. regardless of my circumstance, i want to live my life so that when people look at me, they see Jesus working in me. i want my life to always point to Christ - whether i'm standing in the fire or not.

summer is officially here :)

*rascal flatts is on friday*i have a new purple blackberry*i still miss my puppy*my house is a wreck..but instead of cleaning it, i think i'll sit by the pool tonight*i want to read more books*i hate the idea of twitter...but sara might be convincing me to get one anyhow*bachelor jake and vienna are now broken up*going to back work after 2 weeks of vacation is hard*i'm struggling just a bit to find that place where i feel like i fit*haircut on thursday - whoo*my clothes are all too big - so last week i had 2 ice cream snickers bars each day to try and fix this problem*saturday i'll be sitting by the ocean*i'd be more than willing to overlook his jean shirt and give jesse from this seasons bachelorette my number*surprisingly, the past 2 weeks of camp were maybe my most favorite weeks of camp ever*heading to pennsylvania with the family for 4th of july*

i have laughed a lot this week - definitely much needed :)
God has totally blessed me with so many amazing, godly women in my life - i can't be thankful enough for them. driving up and down falls of neuse road between 12 and 2 - RIDICULOUS!
this is the least homesick i've ever felt at orientation week, surprising, but such a good thing!
i feel exactly the same and completely different - all at the same time.
i keep forgetting to take pictures! :(
next week, i get to be an angel, in my old cabin, with laura as my co-counselor - big thumbs up!
race for the cure is this weekend.
i've been greatly encouraged lately by being able to pray through specific scripture. what a huge reminder to not only be in God's word reading it, but also memorizing it so that i have it with me, whenever i need!
i really like card games.
this week, i've been constantly reminded of God's faithfulness to me, and amazed by the strength He alone has provided.
yesterday, i realized a lot of my favorite bible verses come from the old testament.
i need more sleep.

"nebuchadnezzar then approached the opening of the blazing furnace and shouted 'shadrach, meshach, and abednego, servants of the Most High God, come out! come here!' so shadrach, meshach, and abednego came out of the fire, and the satraps, prefects, governors and royal advisers crowded around them. they saw that the fire had not harmed their bodies, nor was a hair of their heads singed; their robes were not scorched, and there was no smell of fire on them."
daniel 3: 26-27


I wan't to come out of this not even smelling like fire...


"i can do everything through him who gives me strength"
phillipians 4:13

loving the sunshine :)

"if you change your mind...

i'm the first in line; honey i'm still free - take a chance on me"

this weekend has been great already. ;) and there's still plenty more left. things aren't at all how i expected them to be...but i really can't complain.

life is good. really. :)

for the record....

...summer time just puts me in a good mood.
...ordering contacts is expensive.
...my new croakies came today.
...i like hannah montana. the tv show and her music.
...i ate A LOT yesterday. big thumbs up for this!
...summer time also makes me miss a lot of people.
...i need to start taking more pictures again.
...i can't believe it's not already friday.
...i ordered new rainbows today.
...i feel like i'm finally back to "normal" ash! :)

randomness

i'm so caught up on all my tv shows. i'm certain that hasn't happened since maybe december.

i moved around my living room furniture! next up - the bedroom! :)

my handwriting is very easy to distinguish.

all this rain has caused my apartment to spring a few leaks...lets hope that gets fixed asap.

in the past 2 months, my morning coffee has gradually been replaced with morning ginger ale.

i have amazing friends. from camp. from school. from work. from just about every stage of my life.

right now, i believe the possibilities are endless...and i really think i'm okay with that.

not just one, but TWO!!!

in case you missed it in the last post, i am OH SO EXCITED to get to work teen week at camp. there just are not enough words to say how happy it makes me! this morning, God totally put on my heart to go ahead even now and pray for the girls He is going to put in my cabin and just be thankful for this awesome opportunity He has given me. so that is exactly what i did.

then the crushing news...this afternoon, i found out you have to be in attendance at orientation week, all of it, to be a counselor for teen week. :/ no way was my boss going to let me have not one, but two full weeks off, and back to back. BUT, for some reason, i decided to ask anyways.

i prayed about it quickly and then called my boss.... and to my surprise HE SAID YES!!!! :)

so now, not only do i get to be a counselor for teen week, but i also have to opportunity to spend two weeks at camp and two weeks outside of the office!

SO SO SOOOOOOOO very happy right now! :)