*battling it out*

"whatever controls your thoughts controls your life. focus determines feelings. if satan can get you focused on your fear...then he gets you distracted and he causes you to walk in defeat"

man have i let satan have my number lately. i can honestly say i've been living life defeated...and it is awful. though i don't know why, this is quite possibly the toughest battle i've ever fought. and i've been losing - big time.

i've let fear and worry and dread and every other horrible thing control my thoughts, my emotions, my focus. in response, my sleep has been affected, my appetite and weight have really been affected, and my overall health and well being has just not been great.

why do i do this? why is it so easy to lose sight of the One who is all-powerful and omniscient? why do i devote my entire focus and energy onto trying to handle and figure out the things in my life, as if i have any control over them in the first place?

"may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit"
romans 15:13

hope: to cherish a desire with anticipation; to expect with confidence; trust

i want to focus on Him - the God of hope. i have to choose to focus on Him. only He can fill me with real joy and real peace. i want to overlow with hope, and with expecation of all the things He has for me. i can be confident that my God is so much bigger than any of these petty things i let get me down. i can't live life defeated anymore. i won't live life defeated anymore. i'm choosing to keep trusting God with it all.

"...we take every thought captive and make it obedient to Christ"
2 corinthians 10:5