just because i can

-i've eaten reeses cups at least 3 times in the past two weeks - if you know me well enough, you know why that is weird for at least 2 reasons.
-when i was little sprite is the only soda i ever drank. but i always thought it was too fizzy so i'd shake up the bottle before opening it.
-my phone broke this morning. andddd the new one doesn't come until friday. :(
-i check backwards. in 5th grade i had a crush on a left handed boy who checked backwards and i apparently wanted to be like him. the habit just stuck with me.
-i haven't really done laundry in maybe close to 2 months. that should tell you how many clothes i have that i don't need. it also should tell you that i'm probably going to have to spend an entire night awake to wash clothes and put them away.
-the fall tv lineup makes me very excited. thank goodness for hulu.
-2 weeks until the state fair!!! :)

my story

the series at church the past 3 weeks has been called "your story". we've talked all about how God can use the things from our past - good things, mistakes, hurts and heartaches, to use us and to shape our future. we've talked about the present and how we communicate with God and what our lives would look like if we let our relationship with Him affect our decisions in the present. and lastly, this week, we talked about the things God has promised us and how those can shape our view and outlook on the future.

i'd say this last week was probably where God spoke to me most. i've seen Him use my past and ugly, hard, and/or hurtful things to change me and work in me in ways i never thought possible. and i really am striving to allow Him to always influence the decisions i make in the present. but man, sometimes, crappy things in life get me down or i just get discouraged about the future and where i'm headed and i totally lose sight of all God has promised. i quit living life focused on Him and instead am completely focused on my self and what i can do to change things.

but, God has promised me so many wonderful things. He's promised to complete me, He's promised to give me joy and peace. He's said that He will give me wisdom if i ask for it, and He's preparing an awesome heavenly home with Him that i'll go to someday. if i lived my life, and based my thoughts and decisions about the future on all of this - wow would my life be different.

one of the questions we covered in the small group lesson with the high school girls last night asked us to describe the character of Christ and to think about how much more trust we would put in these promises if we really understood and believed in who God is.

"the Lord is good...."
nahum 1:7

God is good. it's something simple i know i say a lot, and even hear others say a lot. and God really is good. but i think there is so much more to that statement that just straightforward, immediate thought or response we might have when we say or hear that statement. if God is good, and God is also unchanging, then that means He can never be anything less or offer us anything less than what is good. wow - when i really think about it....that just blows my mind and really encourages me. why would i ever be worried about my future if i really trusted in and believed in this characteristic of my great God? if i believe God is good and that He can't change - then how can He ever give me something that in the end will not be good?

right now, life is pretty easy. i've got a lot of great things going on and i am very happy with how things are happening! :) i honestly have no real complaints. but, there are always going to be ups and downs. right now is a high, and at any time the low could come. i want to train myself to remember and focus on these promises of God. i know who He is. i know that He is trustworthy and i know He has my best interests in mind. He has promised me great things, and i really don't have any reason to ever worry about my story or what the future holds.

no matter what

*i’m running back to your promises one more time;

Lord that’s all i can hold on to.

i gotta say this has taken me by surprise,

but nothing surprises You.

before a heartache can ever touch my life,

it has to go through Your hands.

and even though i, i keep asking why....

no matter what, i’m gonna love You,

no matter what i’m gonna need You.

i know that You can find a way to keep me from the pain

but if not,if not, i’ll trust you, no matter what...

when i’m stuck in this nothing-ness by myself,

i’m just sitting in silence.

there’s no way i can make it without Your help,

i wont even try it.

i know You have Your reasons for everything,

so i will keep believing,

whatever i might be feeling, God, You are my hope,

and You'll be my strength*

-kerrie roberts

thirteen thoughts this thursday :P

1) i think it should already be friday.
2) i think its dumb if you call someone, they tell you that you have a wrong number, and then you ask them if they have the right number. happens more often than you'd think.
3) i think zac efron is pretty attractive.
4) i think its so awesome to see the things God's done in my life that i really can only give credit and glory to Him for.
5) i think if you have an attorney, or anyone you're paying for a service, that you should know their name. first and last.
6) i think its safe to say disney channel on demand is one of my favorites.
7) i think i need to get rid of some clothes.
8) i think pride plays such a big part in our lives, that sometimes its hard to recognize we are even being prideful.
9) i think i have the best sister in the entire world.
10) i think the fair can't come soon enough.
11) i think its a tie between spring and fall for my two favorite seasons.
12) i think we make a lot of situations and decisions harder than they have to be, and create more chaos for ourselves, by choosing to hold out on doing what we know is the right thing.
13) i think my life is absolutely fabulous and i've been blessed with more than i could've ever dreamed possible. :)

let it go

i've spent so much time in my life fighting God for things i thought i wanted. even things that though they might not be bad for me, were also not good for me...because they weren't where God wanted me, or who He wanted me with. deep down i knew something wasn't right, i even knew they weren't right....but i fought God for these things or these people anyway. it was too scary to think of letting them go and what might happen. what might come next. and, though so painful sometimes to let go - i don't regret any of those decisions. peace and joy with where i am are SOOOO much better than the constant questioning, restlessness, over-analyzing, and justification that always came from holding on so tightly to those things and those people.

it kills me.....like really breaks my heart...to see some friends going through those same things.

* jonah 2:8-9*

i'll take Jesus and His love any day over the worthless idols i make out of things and relationships in this world.

*i've been holding on so tight.

look at these knuckles, they've gone white.

i'm fighting for who i wanna be.

i'm just trying to find security.

but You say let it go, You say let it go.

You say life is waiting for the ones who lose control.

You say you will be everything i need.

You say if i lose my life it's then i'll find my soul.

You say let it go*

i love maryland

or at least some people who live there :)

i'm bacccckkkkk! ;)

my life really is good. seriously, God has given me such joy and excitement lately about life - about where it is, and what comes next. i'm learning and growing and changing and it's cool for me to experience that.

i've designated the next month as "start-over september". i've made a few new years resolution-like goals for myself this month. changing things up. giving others the benefit of the doubt. exercising self-control.

sunday, september 12th is national back to church sunday! this is also the sunday for the official launch of starting point church. we will be meeting in mission valley theater at 930am and 11am. if you don't already have a church home, you're looking for a change, or you just want to come out and support starting point on it's launch sunday - i'd love to see you there!