God is so good

How many times have I spent planning out what is best for my life and making decisions completely without consulting what God wants or has for me? If I'm being honest, I'm pretty certain that this happens way more often than not. I know that God created everything and knows everything and wants nothing but the best for me, but it's as if my small human mind can't seem to comprehend that somehow I should also listen to Him when I know He's leading me - even if the decision He wants me to make doesn't seem like the easy or fun one. God has totally used this past year to remind me how much he does want the best and how faithful He is to provide, if nothing more, just a peace about exactly where He has me, when I am willing to obey Him.

Nearly a year ago, I was at the end of my longest and most complicated relationship and I had no idea what was coming next. Ending this relationship was something that I believe both of us knew was the right decision, but neither was willing to take the first step or to give up the comfort and security it offered, or sacrifice the friendship we knew we'd lose. But, finally, each of us made a move that lead to the end of what I know for me, was one of the biggest learning experiences of my life thus far. It was hard, really hard....but looking back, it's funny to see how God provided both of us, in very different ways, with a peace beyond understanding and huge blessings and far better things, than I know we would have ever gotten if we continued to follow the things we thought were best for our lives.

For me, those blessings came in the form of Godly, encouraging frienships. The end of this relationship meant losing my best friend for the past five years, and if you'd asked me what the next year looked like - I probably would have said I thought it'd be full of lots of quality alone time. How humbled and amazed am I at God's faithfulness when I reflect on this past year and realize that it has been anything but that!

I've spent the past year reconnecting with old friends and building relationships with new ones. God has given me one of the best girl friends I've ever had and someone I know I will be close with for the rest of my life. We've shared a ridiculous amount of laughs and tears this past year and I know there are so many more to come. Without hesitation, I can say that it is no coincidence that God put her in my life at this time because He knew how much I would need her.


For half of the year, He provided me the opportunity to serve in ministry with a team of people that literally became like family in not much more than one months time. From that group, I've been blessed with an amazing accountability group of girls that love me exactly as I am, but too much to let me stay that way! They encourage me and challenge me and I am so thankful for God putting them in my lives when He knew I would need them the most.


I've spent more time with my family, built and renewed friendships or grown closer with numerous individuals from camp, and gotten to spend time with lots of great friends from college! There hasn't been a minute I've had time to feel lonely!


To top it all off, the peace that God has provided, even in the hardest moments, has literally left me in shock at times. It's as if I can't even imagine how I could be as happy or as joyful as I've been, after losing such a big part of my life. I've literally experienced the peace that surpasses all understanding that the Bible talks about! Seriously, how cool is that?!

I'd like to say that after all of God's amazing provisions this year that I'll never again try to do things on my own, or follow after what I think is right for my life. Unfortunately, being the sinful person I am, I don't think I'll always be successful at that. Thankfully, however, I know I'll be able to look around at the amazing friends He's blessed me with and see and be reminded of just how faithful He is when I'm willing to surrender it all to Him.