i love this song. i feel like everything that it's about, all that it is saying, is exactly like what i've been dealing with and processing in my own life, over the past year to year and a half. i even blogged about it a few months ago here. one tough thing would happen, my heart would start to heal...and then it just seemed as if the next tough thing would immediately arise.
it's safe to say, summer was a breaking point for me. i'd had enough hurt and hard stuff and one last trial just sent me over the edge. probably the lowest point emotionally that i've been in my adult life. but, God was working and teaching me and growing me SO MUCH through all of it.
it's funny that summer was so difficult for me, but multiple times in the fall and winter i've found myself wishing to feel like i did in summer. not because i enjoy the hard stuff - it was not fun at all. and its also not because of wishing for fun days at the beach or evenings with great friends (though all of those i am looking forward to :P) i've missed summer because though it was incredibly, emotionally draining, it was also the most dependent i've ever been on God. and the freedom and hope and joy that came with that were beyond words.
losing the comfortable and stable things in my life made me long for my heavenly home like i never have before. i wish i didn't need the trials in my life to fully rely on God and not try to do things on my own. i wish i was always walking with Jesus, the way i was this summer. i'd love to say i never get caught up in the things of this world. but i am thankful for the hard things and the way they point me to Jesus. and i'm praying that He keeps reminding me that this world is not my home...even if that means more heartaches.
0 comments:
Post a Comment